


Kooks

by k_h0le



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 'two sides of the same coin' fic, F/M, Force Bond, Gen, Sappiness, compleation, pregnancy au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 19:50:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7477596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k_h0le/pseuds/k_h0le
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey is still trying to get used to the reality of "them" when suddenly "them" means something very different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sup guys. So this originally started out as something that was supposed to be under 5000 words and a simple one shot and it literally just slowly grew and took on a life of it's own and developed a personality and it owes me rent money now..
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, this is basically what happened when I got the prompt "Tiny sappy one shot where Rey and Ben hate each other until they realize they totally complete each other in literally every way"  
> I don't know how this happened, but here is chapter one of two.

_Will you stay in our lovers' story_  
If you stay you won't be sorry  
'Cause we believe in you  
Soon you'll grow so take a chance  
With a couple of Kooks  
Hung up on romancing  
\-------------------------------------------  
She's in the middle of working on the Falcon early in the morning with Chewy the first time she feels it. A rumble low in her abdomen, not hungry, not quite sick, just a strange flutter. It's gone as soon as it's there. Rey chalks it up to probably being something Ben was feeling, somewhere within the resistance base, most likely training with Luke or having breakfast with his mother. The force bond, connecting their mental and physical feelings, nothing more.  
Rey was still getting used to _them_. It still makes her heart seize in her chest. It had taken _months_ for them to even get along, fighting like cats and dogs until Rey was mentally exhausted by frustration and Ben was trying so hard to keep his composure and not return to Kylo Ren that his teeth hurt constantly from being clenched. Until they both broke down and let their walls come down with them.

Ben tried his hardest to be everything he could for the resistance from the moment he realized he needed to join them. After doing Snoke's bidding for so long, being told his _'pain would be relieved once Han Solo was dead'_. When he'd been pulled from the snow after battling Rey, fresh wounds needing to be tended to, he'd felt his pain more tangibly than ever. _His father_. Gone forever and still the ache in his chest remained. He grew angry over his weeks in the MedBay, his recovery. Snoke was hands off when it came to Ren's physical pain, giving him plenty of time to grow his hatred for his former _supreme leader_. The fact that he also now had this _thing_ of light growing in his conscience, it'd been there since the fight and deep down Ren knew what it was. What it meant. He'd begun planning his defection as soon as he'd entered recovery and when he was strong enough, he fled, contacting his mother, stealing a small pilot ship and narrowly escaping Hux's lasers and guns before reaching hyperdrive.

When he'd arrived at the rebel base he was shunned at first, hated and feared still. But without his mask he knew he was less menacing. Some didn't immediately realize who he was by just his face, until word had fully spread that he had joined them. But he worked hard. Kept his head down. Didn't start fights. He spent hours upon hours in his mothers chambers, discussing counter intelligence and the plans and ins and outs of The First Order. After two successful resistance raids were carried out to fruition because of intel they received from Ren, he started to get pats on the shoulder, small smiles from other pilots and crew members in the hanger. He started wearing less black. He started to go by his real name again.  
(The first time he corrected his mother they were eating lunch together, which he'd started doing religiously since his arrival. She was telling him about how his training with Luke was going to start involving another apprentice- he _knew it was her_ , she was asking him to behave.  
"I mean, I know you and your temper, I just do. I know you don't play well with others Kylo-"  
"Ben." His voice was firm which surprised him, considering how his heart was thundering in his chest. His mothers eyes already welling with tears and full of hope.  
"Alright then," she said shakily, "Ben, you'll begin training with her tomorrow."

She said it happily now, like she had never even called him Kylo.)

With the reality of dealing with his _one problem on this entire base_ all the time starting the next day, Ben had to go to his uncle early and explain to him the issue he knew would arise during his training with Rey.  
"We're force bonded, uncle." His voice was soft, he tried not to raise his voice around Luke. He tried to be as obedient and respectful as possible, force knew he owed the old man that much. Either way it had to be understood that he was far ahead of her in training, she would get hurt and then the entire resistance army would blame _him_ for wounding their _precious little Rey_.  
"I'm not sure if she is aware because of her lack of proper training, but-"  
To his surprise Luke cuts him off, "Oh she is aware, she's been blocking you since shortly after Star Killer was destroyed, as soon as I taught her." Luke has an extremely smug look on his face. Ben falters.  
"She's been _what??_ ", his anger flares. Ben takes a deep breath and before he can reply the metal door opens with a _whoosh_ and Rey walks in, carrying that stupid staff, the little orange droid rolling next to her feet.  
"I've been trained _quite_ properly, thank you very much." She has a sneer in her voice and on her face.  
This is how they interact for months. Training hard every day, creating and releasing tension at the same time. They hurt each other intentionally sometimes. She uses that _stupid staff_ , it gives her a practical third arm, he hates it. He makes remarks over lunch with Luke once about how _It's an unfair advantage and it's entirely unpractical. She won't have a staff in real battle.._ The only thing that stops Bens talking is the look on his uncles face, reading jealousy and childish vain on his nephew's face and mirroring it back. Ben doesn't make any more remarks about Rey's choice of weaponry.

The first time they have a moment of real connection that doesn't include bared teeth is during a spar that's particularly exhausting. She'd come into training for the day already with something clouding her mind. Their bond was always there, but she did a good job of blocking him out, making their connection fuzzy and unreadable to him. Something happened that day though, something that effected her emotionally. Her upset was tangible and he used it to his advantage in the spar, taking extra caution not to hurt her, but to make her fight for it. After blocking a swing at her legs with a jump into the air Rey ends up landing on unsteady footing, ankles giving out from under her. She falls to the mat with an _oof_ , and instead of jumping back up like usual she stays down, cradling one wrist in the other hand, eyes pinched together and a scowl on her face. Then he feels it, her walls come down and he marks it up as a win, reaching in. Suddenly Ben is flooded by the presence of her mind. Her light, brilliant and raw, her strength and her weakness. Her _immense pain_. It almost knocks the air out of his lungs. The familiarity to his own pain suddenly devastating at the thought of Rey enduring it. He feels _everything_ from her. Her exhaustion is palpable, he can practically taste the bitter self-hatred at her own perceived failures. It scares him. It's like looking in a mirror. Ben backs away, relinquishing his hold on her mind, shaking his head back and forth, mumbled apologies spilling from his lips.  
He goes to sleep that night and dreams about the Rey he saw _so clearly_ through their bond. She was tiny and screaming, tears flooding her face as something-or someone-flew off into the azure sky and left her in the sand. He wakes up panting and uncomfortable in the middle of the night, not from his emotions, but from Rey's. The bond is still not fully closed. He has to force himself to stay in his quarters and not sneak over to Rey's to check on her.

Rey walked around that day in a trance of sorts. She didn't know what was _wrong with her_. She'd had a nightmare about Jakku the night before and woke up feeling the grit of the sand against her skin until she showered and scrubbed herself almost raw. She wasn't looking forward to training, her mental capacity to block out Ben Solo (and she didn't know _why_ she couldn't call him by anything but his full name, even in her mind) wasn't where it needed to be. She wasn't prepared and it hurt her in the end. She'd over exerted herself from the very start, leaving herself vulnerable to the swing he took at her legs. She jumped just in time to avoid the hit, but her unpreparedness for the move was proven when she landed and her entire bottom half simply gave out from under her. Rey wasn't used to failing in a spar. It was enough to send her over the edge of pathetic feeling and knock her shields down. She grabbed her right wrist in her left hand and rubbed the sore joints from holding her staff. Ben Solo took advantage of the moment of weakness and dove into her mind. She fought to push him back, glaring at him as he closed his eyes and then she watched his horror at her memories, taking advantage of her lack of barriers, kicking her while she's down. And the reality of her mind _terrifies him_ , if his face is any indication. Good. At least she could use this as a reason he wouldn't try to read her further. Rey goes to bed that night early, skips dinner and goes straight to her quarters right after the spar. She falls onto her bed, grabbing at her sheets and trying to keep her composure in vain. The tears start without her permission and she falls asleep sobbing into her pillow, loneliness and self hatred all she can feel.

The next time Ben see's Rey they're in the canteen at breakfast time. She's walking in a few people after him and spots him as he reaches the caffe bar. He tries to smooth his face over into a mask of composure. He gives her a small smile. To his surprise, she returns it, helplessly shy and the complete opposite of her usual fiery self. He was surprised when, after their sparing lesson, she didn't fully erect her shields to their previous state. Leaving it fuzzily open but more clear than she'd ever let them be. Ben felt like it was a win, a sign of good faith. An advancement of their relationship, their _friendship_..  
She's walked over now, grabbing herself a cup. He decides he should probably say something,  
"My mother and Luke went on a mission to sign a treaty, so this is my first time in here..", he motions around to the room then immediately feels like an absolute idiot. Like she cares _why_ he's here. He tries to save it with, "is the caffe worth drinking or should I not even bother?"  
She smiles again. Just a little one, but Ben chalks it up to a victory.  
"It's not terrible, I wouldn't recommend anything they make on Tuesdays though, different canteen cooks on Tuesday." Her voice has a hint of mocking, but it's playful, nice. Ben nods his head as if to say he's storing the information and smiles back at her. He realizes they're just standing there, awkwardly holding up the line. He blushes and then hates himself for _blushing_ , before motioning towards the door and excusing himself, ducking out of the crowded room with a wave and a promise to see Rey later at training.

It takes them two weeks of circling each other carefully before something happens. They both offer small acts of kindness, unspoken apologies for their previous behavior over the past few months. Suddenly both repentant, both longing silently to speak to the other. Maybe it's the change in their bond. They're slowly both beginning to open up to the other and every time they do they're both hit with the realization that they are more similar than either would readily admit.

Ben goes to meet his mother for lunch one afternoon that happens to be a particularly bad day and to add to it, he forgets to block Rey out. In these kinds of moments his shields were incredibly important. She didn't want to see that side of him, or at least he didn't want her to. His mother is generally a jovial human being. Witty and sarcastic and _strong_. He likes to think he inherited some of her better qualities and since he's joined the resistance he'd spent more of his time with her than with anyone, he knew that being around her brought those qualities out in him.  
But today when Ben enters her chambers for lunch he finds her not in her usual spot in her dining room but standing in her bedroom, looking blankly into one of the large wardrobes lining the walls. From the doorway she looks like she's thinking. Just inquisitive and curious. As he walks further into the room he realizes that she happens to be looking at one of his late fathers' many worn leather jackets. The meaning and energy in the room shift impossibly fast.  
The particular jacket she's holding is ancient-looking. Cracked and worn brown leather holding hundreds, maybe thousands of memories. There was a now faded but once bright orange rebel symbol patch sewn onto one of the arms. Leia is running her thumb over the patch and Ben doesn't hear her sigh, but he sees it.  
Ben can never begin to fully apologize to his mother for what he'd done to his father, their family. He would never forgive himself, never go a day without the ache in his entire body that only someone who's lost their father could know. His guilt was multiplied because it was his _fault_. When he'd arrived at the base, during his first interrogation with his mother and her group of officials he'd formally apologized to her. Losing composure half way into it and being reduced to tears as he sobbed his great regret, his immense pain, his absolute agony at his actions. He expressed his sorrow at the fact that he'd taken so much from his mother. From shortly then on they took lunch alone together, and when days like that day happened Ben did all he could to console her. This time all he could do is wrap her in a hug, still a new gesture of affection to him. Leia gripped his body tightly with one hand, grasping at his robes and kept holding the leather jacket by the collar in the other hand. She began to sob softly, even still keeping her composure. Ben holds her until the sobs are quiet little hiccups, at which point he tells her again,  
"I'm so sorry, mother." He mumbles the words into her hair, a head and then some taller than her, "I'm so sorry for what I did to our family." He holds her there in the hug, head gently and lovingly cradled by his hand until one of her aids knocks on the door to fetch her for some diplomatic issue or another.  
Ben doesn't even think about Rey having seen the interaction through their bond until she caught his eyes across the canteen later that night. They'd skipped practicing together, Rey had work to do on the falcon that she was always happy to choose over anything else and Ben needed a good dose of meditation alone. He'd been unintentionally staring at her since the moment she'd walked into the canteen, flanked by Fin and the little orange droid. Her face was full of unbridled happiness, laughing at something. He was searching her face to see any inclination that she'd seen what happened earlier at lunch with his mother. But there was none. Just her smile and her cheeks dimpling and her eyes looking so _bright_. She doesn't seem to be looking for him the way he was for her, which makes him realize he needs to stop. He goes back to sipping his drink and eying around the room, careful to keep his line of sight away from Rey for a good while. When he does look back to her she's looking at him, as if she'd been waiting for his eyes to meet hers. She tilts her head and over their bond he feels a soft _Hey_. He throws back a half smile and returns the 'Hey'. She can sense the hesitance in his demeanor, the guilt and the dread. Something inside of her wants to _fix_ it, to soothe his ache and lick his wounds. The feeling confuses her.  
They end up getting up to bus their trays at the same time and walk out of the canteen together. Ben begins to walk with her through the halls, casually walking her back to her room. It feels oddly romantic to Rey, and she smiles to herself for some reason, then turns her head to glance at him then back to the hall in front of her.  
"So," she offers awkwardly, "training tomorrow, I figured I might ask Luke if we can start to work on things that _we_ want to work on, you know? I mean not that what he teaches isn't important but if I have to meditate again on my thoughts..." She huffs and shakes her head, but she's smiling to show her joking.  
"Just tell him. He's always pretty open to my suggestions when he works with me alone." Ben offers shrugging his shoulders and he's _trying_ to act casual. He then wonders why exactly he has to _act_ , he can't just _be casual_ with Rey. Why everything with her is so difficult.  
They've walked mostly in silence but added to the few moments of conversation and they've already walked to her wing of the base. She's housed in the same area as the pilot staff and the higher-up technicians, whereas Ben's chambers are in the wing of officials, simply because he was intentionally put in the rooms next to his mothers. He realizes he has to say good night and his chest constricts.  
"I'll talk to him about it," he offers, fumbled words and.. _what is he doing with his hands??_ gesturing around for gods know what reason, "I see him tomorrow morning with my mother, I can bring it up then." He finishes, tucking his hands behind his back. He turns to face her and she's fiddling with her hands nervously, unsure about something. But she's smiling at him, big and bright and _Rey_. His chest is probably going to just give out on him entirely..  
"Thanks," she says, bouncingly happy, "I'll see you tomorrow then, Ben!" And with that she stands on tip toe and throws her arms up and clumsily around his neck, bringing herself up to his body in a hug before running (really almost _running_ ) down the hall until she opens a door and slips inside with a wave goodbye in his direction.  
Ben stands at the end of the hallway, entranced. His body is buzzing with energy, electricity from the realization of having held Rey _so close_ for even those few brief moments. He eventually forces himself to go to his own chambers, he makes sure their bond is fuzzy before he falls asleep and dreams of Rey. Of sitting under a tree reading with her pressed to his front. Of warm air and sunlight dancing across her skin. Of his hands wound into her hair lazily, a perfect afternoon. It becomes a reoccurring dream. Ben can't help but hope to himself that it's a premonition of sorts.

Over the next few weeks Rey offers smiles and makes jokes, actual conversation. They eat lunch outside together twice. Ben tries to be extra helpful during their training sessions, shows her some stances and moves that will be effective with her staff. He tries to shut off her access to his mind when he does this. Something about the intimacy of being so close to her, their bodies lining up with one another's, it makes his brain fuzz out, white hot and blinding his eyes. He offers to lend her a few of his old texts to read. She's fascinated by books, the innocent excitement on her face makes his heart clench.  
They're training without Luke the day that it finally happens. With their master off on another treaty mission they work themselves on what they feel they need. That day Rey just so happens to decide they'll work on their bond.  
"I think it could be helpful. If we're ever on a mission it's important to remain connected.." She says the words decisively, but her eyes betray her and Ben can see her insecurity in asking for anything. He nods though, she has a point, it is something they could work on.  
"Okay, just..", he starts to talk before he thinks he words out, they come out stammered. "We'll sit, facing each other as if trying to meditate. Just relax and close your eyes, open your mind." The way he says it sounds more like he's trying to calm himself down about it than explain _what_ they would do.  
Rey does as she's told, sits with her legs crossed and hands resting on her knees. When she closes her eyes, face going serene and chin lowering just slightly, Ben stares without meaning to. He realizes for the first time that she looks _different_ than usual. Her hair is down, slight waves of chestnut falling over her shoulders. Her clothing is her usual training gear, cloth pants that grasp tight to her thin legs, her white tunic tank top and loose fabric robes cinched with the worn leather belt she always had on. She was wearing it all, nothing out of its usual place other than her hair, but something about her gave him pause. He pushed the feelings rising in his chest down and sat across from her.  
"Just, leave your mind open to-", Ben is trying to reexplain himself when she pushes his shields down entirely, diving into his head. Her light sears him. She feels around his mind, exploring the depths and the dark corners. He lets her, unsure but trying his hardest to work with her. He opens a thought usually kept safely hidden away, the dream his mind repeats for him, letting her into it.  
_He's sitting under a tree, back against it's trunk. Sunshine is filtering through the leaves, speckling his skin with shadows and lack thereof. He has a book in his right hand, he's twirling a blade of grass in between his left pointer finger and thumb. He looks happy, serene. There's suddenly a rumble from the treetop and Rey comes hurdling down, swinging her slight weight from branch to branch to bring her closer to the ground until she's a safe distance to fall from, at which point she plops down, knees folding under her as she sits closely to Ben, peering to see what he's reading. He stops twirling the blade of grass and looks up to meet her face, a wide smile on his lips. "Can I help you, miss?" He says, sarcasm dripping from his voice playfully "Can I lay on you while you read?" Rey's voice is innocent, hopeful. Ben nods his head in agreement and she smiles bright, settling into the ground, laying her body against his and her head on his chest. He repositions his book and flips the page, sets the blade of grass down on the ground and replaces its absence by winding his fingers into her hair. They look so comfortable, completely at ease. Ben settles back into the tree and Rey closes her eyes and gives a contented sigh._  
Rey comes out of his mind with a small gasp. The vision she just saw wasn't real, but it _felt_ real. She wondered if this was one of his dreams. If this is how he thought about them. She can't meet his eyes for some reason, she's not embarrassed exactly. She just feels so _exposed_ , when it wasn't even her brain creating the images. If anyone should feel embarrassed it should be _Ben._ But he doesn't look embarrassed, in fact he looks...so hopeful it makes her chest _heave._  
She opens her mouth before she can stop herself and the words just spill out, "Is that..is that what you _want_ for... _for us?_ ", and then she's blushing even more. The idea of the two of them as an _us_. It makes her pulse race and she doesn't know why. The idea of laying under a sunny tree and reading against his chest, breathing in sync...she smiles, again before she can stop herself. She quickly calms her face, but it's obvious he's seen all the emotions play across her. His voice is smug when he finally speaks, Rey can't bring herself to raise her head to him, keeps her eyes directed at her now twitching fingers.  
"It wouldn't be a terrible way to spend an afternoon in my mind, if that's what you mean." It's not an answer, not really. Not enough for Rey.  
"No. No no. I mean." She doesn't know when she stopped breathing normally but she's practically gasping out the words, "do you want to be like...like my _boyfriend?!??_ " without realizing she's raised to her knees while talking she fumbles with her balance, having risen too quickly, she gets a little dizzy.  
_And she's definitely not dizzy because of what they're talking about, NO._  
She teeters and finally loses balance falling forward. She would've landed face first into the mat on the ground but Ben moves quickly, catching her by the shoulders. And Rey realizes how _close_ to his face hers is, how their foreheads are resting on each other's and their lips are merely _inches_ apart. And Ben is _grinning_ , wolfish and bright. Rey can't stop herself from returning the smile.  
And that's all it takes. A closure of space, a small tilt of the head and their lips are crashing into one another's, eager and hungry. Rey lets go of herself, letting her weight rest against his body. Arms held tightly to her side for only a moment, until she raises them to go around his neck, resting on his shoulders.  
She'd be on top of him if they were laying down.  
Bens lips taste like salvation to her. Like sweet candy and acceptance. They sit there kissing softly, shyly before Ben shifts his weight to lie down and grabs Rey by the hips, bringing her down on top of him. They share lazy, languid kisses for what feels like hours. Only coming up for air and to share shy, elated glances with each other.  
They stop kissing only when the half to six bell goes off, letting all the technicians and base staff they're finished with work and can head to their quarters or the canteen finally. When they break apart, they're both out of breath, panting. Rey'd pulled Bens lightweight, tattered training t-shirt off his body some where between him coming up for air the third time, which Rey took advantage of, tightening her legs around his waist and using his own weight as leverage to flip him till he was on top of her now, she clambered around his torso to remove the thin cloth before pulling him back to meet her lips. He'd sparred back, but just barely, wriggling her belt off and with it her fabric robes till she lay beneath him in just her (now rucked up to above her navel) tunic and her tight cloth pants. It wasn't exactly fair and even but Ben would take any leverage she gave him.  
"Should we...?" Rey starts but doesn't know how to finish. All she _wants_ to do is stay here, wrapped up in Ben and the way he smells smokey and musky and _familiar_. Rey has never been one for alphamales but the way he smells so... _manly_ , it makes her stomach do flips and something burn deep in her core.  
The heat between her thighs and the hard line of Bens cock straining against his pants doesn't help.  
She doesn't finish her sentence, instead resting her hand on his broad chest and pursing her lips in a smile.  
"We probably should.." He mirrors her jokingly, hands settling on her hips and squeezing just so.  
Ben thinks he could lay with Rey forever. He feels an electric current under his skin that only she seems to know how to bring out. There's a sense of completion, them being together. She, literally abandoned, grown into a powerful being out of necessity. Him, self perceived abandonment-more in his own head than physical-but also finding his only salvation in growing in strength, in power. Warriors, the both of them.  
Rey shifts in his arms looking up to his face and presses a soft kiss to the underside of his chin before settling back down into his weight. They lay there for what feels like hours, exchanging quiet remarks and light conversation between make-out sessions that leave them both breathless and hungry knowing both were far too horrifically shy to do anything about their feelings. They lie on the floor sharing gentle kisses until they hear the nightly bell that means the graveyard shift is beginning, at which point they realize they've probably begun to be searched for.  
"My mother has probably sent out the troops to find me," he says lightly, playing with a loose strand of her hair.  
Rey makes a contented little noise and burrows further into his chest, desperate to get as close to him as she could, Ben lets her. More than happy to have her breathing in tune with his and their bodies flush together. Minutes pass and there's a sudden commotion outside of the training room. The door activates and opens softly, letting a gaggle resistance personnel into their view. They'd righted their clothing earlier, and to their luck, as a hustle of shoes clattering on the floor grew nearer and Leia comes into view in front of the door.  
The look on Leia's face isn't what Rey expects. As soon as Ben realizes it's his _mother_ standing before them he scrambles to his feet, brushing his pants off from the ground and trying to hide his hard on, futzing with his hair to straighten it out. Rey simply stands and tucks her hands behind her back, returning the generals stare. She doesn't look _angry_ per say, she looks a little stunned, but there's something underneath the surprise, warm and familiar and Rey realizes that it's the look Leia gets with her when the general is pleased with something Rey accomplishes. When she's _proud_. Leia is looking at them both with the same eyes, all knowing and smug but with every right. She has her hands folded in front of herself serenely.  
"Ben, dear, I do believe you missed your dinner. As did Rey." She motions to the both of them and brings her hands back together. "I'll send for three dinners to be brought to my dining room, you both can meet me there after you go change from your training uniforms". The words are curt and the reality was inescapable. Ben nodded his head, as did Rey.  
"Don't you two take too long either. I happen to be hungry." Leia finishes and turns to exit, her group of resistance personnel scattering back to their own rooms now that no threat was posed.  
At least, not for them.

When Rey gets to Leia's rooms she stands outside the door for a few moments, unsure. Then, without realizing it, Ben is there, and she thinks he might have just been around the corner when she got there. He might have stood in wait to see her reaction. As he walks to her, coming to stand close enough for their hands to touch, but not making them.  
"There's nothing to worry about." He says, feeling her unease through their bond. Then he does grab her hand, tugging her body to turn towards his until they're face to face. Ben looks at her with eyes that say he'd do _anything_ for her, and with a hitch of her breath she thinks that maybe, now, he would.  
"My mother is incredibly important to me," he starts but he sounds uneasy, unsure. "I have a drive inside me to do everything in my power to make her happy, but" he pauses, "if she reacts negatively to the idea of us being together, I ask that you leave so you don't see us argue, because I _will_ argue with her if she disapproves..you're.."  
Rey opens her mouth and Ben stops talking, but she quickly shuts her lips and nods for him to continue.  
"Rey, you're the only person I've ever met that doesn't make me feel misunderstood. I don't know if it's our force bond or if you're just..just my _salvation_ but. I want nothing but to be with you in every way." When he's finally finished with the sentence his face looks like it's gone through an ordeal. He's sweating just slightly, beading his brow, and he's so _tense_ he would probably snap if touched too abruptly, but it's his eyes that kill her. His eyes are _so happy_ , like a child who's gotten the best gift imaginable, she's never seen his eyes this happy. She thinks to herself that her heart is probably close to giving out from all the stress it's been put through that day. She realizes she should say something, assure him she feels the same, feels it too. Instead though, the double doors of Leia's quarters open wide and they see her standing on the other side. They must look a sight, both of them raw and desperate with emotion that they aren't familiar with. Both of them silently dying to just be lying with each other again close as close can get.  
"Come, come!" Leia greets them and leads them through her parlor to the dining room where a small table is filled the the brim with food. Far too much food for three people.  
"Mother, this _really_ isn't necessary..", Ben starts, as if he knows where this meeting is going and he definitely doesn't want to let it go there. Leia cuts him off with a wave of her hands, motioning for them to sit. He sits begrudgingly and she takes the seat next to him.  
"How is your training going, Rey?" Leia starts in, pouring a cup of tea into a cup and handing it to her, Rey takes it delicately, trying to think of an answer. She decides on, "Well! Very well." She takes a small sip from her tea as Ben takes a cup from his mother as well. The liquid is sweet and warm, tasting like peppermint. "Master Luke has taught me a lot. And Ben..." She accidentally starts on, then reroutes her mouth quickly spitting out, "has been very helpful as well."  
Leia's face is enough to make Rey want to curl into a ball. Smiling smugly to herself.  
"Good, very good." Leia's holding her cup to her mouth now, hiding her grin as she says, "So do tell, when did _this_ begin? Because if you've been sneaking around I owe Luke 100 credits, but from the lovely shade of red you're both turning right now.." She trailed off, giggling to herself. Absolutely cruel. "I'm guessing you two just finally let things happen as they're meant to. And that means I just won 100 credits."  
Then it hits her.  
"Wait, you. You guys what _knew_ this was..you guessed?...what?!" Rey can barely even make out a full sentence. Ben is sitting silently next to her, she can feel his embarrassment through their bond and he keeps his eyes trained on the ground.  
"You both..."  
"Were waiting for this", Leia finishes for Rey, grinning huge at them across the table.  
"You two cannot truly be so surprised, Luke realized it sooner than I, but he also thought you were both capable of running your lives normally after beginning a relationship." Leia pauses, "to which I said you'd both fight your emotions until one or both of you spontaneously blew up." She smirks as she says the last part and Rey wonders fleetingly if Leia also possessed the powers of the force. She was so _brilliantly, terribly correct_. Always.  
"So.." Ben begins, apparently finding his voice, "you're not upset?" He asks. "Uncle...he isn't upset? He isn't worried?"  
The questions make _Rey worry_. Did he expect his family to disapprove of her? She would understand. She thought of her inferior birth, his past and present rank, their grandiose differences..  
_And of their incredible similarities. Their completion in each other._  
"Ben, you could do a _lot_ worse, in my opinion. _Quite_ a lot." Leia's words are serious but joking all the same. Rey blushes at the assurance in her voice. How highly she actually holds Rey.  
"Your uncle, though....he thinks she's too pure for you," the words sting him and Rey can feel it through their bond.  
"He does believe however, that you two are..each others reality. And future."  
"She is."  
The words are from Ben and Rey is past blushing, she's just _looking_ at him, like he holds the world and simultaneously _is_ the world. And he does. He is. Rey doesn't know if it's her turn to speak, but she can't stop staring at Ben now. Out of the corner of her eye she sees the look on Leia's face. Love, acceptance, but more than anything _hope_. For her son and their family, for the future. Then she sees Leia pick up her silverware and begin to eat, telling them both _Come now, you both missed your last meal._  
They eat not in awkward silence but in happy conversation. Speaking lightly and laughing openly and Rey has never in her life felt more _complete_.

It's four months later, on a mission by themselves to Hoth that things change again. Rey's spruced the Falcon up quite a lot, it still remains the same ship and a giant reminder of his father, but now it's full of _Rey._ They're just landing, they have to travel a few miles from where they can land the Falcon, to a small village where they must find an old ally of the resistance who still had some old Empire blueprints from the days of Vader. The Empire was now, from what their Intel could tell, returning to some of the old workings, ships, technology. They were there to get the blue prints and secure them against the Empire.  
It takes them a few good hours to get to the village, then another hour to find the old man and his shack. He invites them in happily, but Rey can feel his hesitance and she can feel Ben getting defensive through their bond.  
Bens temper was something Rey'd had to get used to right off the bat in their relationship. He held so much _anger_ inside of him. So much self hatred. For the first few weeks of being together they always parted ways at the end of the night ( _well almost always.._ ) and when they did Rey dreamed what Ben dreamed. Saw what he saw in his sleep. It haunted her. Disturbed her. She had no idea how Ben survived daily after sleeping this way. Eventually it came to a head. Rey woke up one night from a particularly bad dream of Bens. She was irritated and sleepy, they'd trained with Luke extra that day to prepare for their first mission the next day and Ben was having a nightmare where he was destroying a village, anger red hot and biting at her mind from radiating off of him. She dredged her way out of bed, shuffling across the base and to his chambers, dragging her blanket and pillow behind her.  
When she reached his door she forced it open, walking in like it was her room, straight to the bed and climbing in next to him. Ben slept like a rock, overheated and flailing most nights, deep deep in sleep. Rey scooched her way over until her body was flush to his. She reached up and put a hand on each side of his face, then pushed into his mind with hers. She tried to breathe in sync with him, that usually seemed to make their connection stronger, until she feels his mind calming down, her light bringing him back into reality and out of the past and his anger. With his mind now quiet she fell back to sleep, keeping her hands resting on his cheeks softly.  
Ben woke up the next morning without a headache for once. Without being drenched in sweat and anger. As they walked to breakfast in the canteen, hands and fingers intertwined, he stopped them right before the doors and pulled her to the side of the hallway.  
_I don't ever want to sleep without you again Rey. You've spoiled me. I can't survive without it now, I'm sure of it_  
From then on Rey had her own chambers, but she spent all her nights in Bens arms, calming the anger inside of him.  
The old man eventually gave them the prints. Ben spoke for the first time as they were walking out the door,  
"On behalf of the Resistance and General Organa herself, we thank you." The old man gave a half hearted smile, a smile that had seen horrible tragedy in its' lifetime. Their trek back was about half way finished when snow began to pound down on them. They'd both dressed for Hoth, warm layers of sweaters and jackets and hats and cowls but Rey was beginning to think she was going to freeze to death just walking back to the ship. Snow was whipping every which way, blinding them even through their goggles, the cold engulfed them. No number of layers would make them warm, just getting to the ship.  
Ben stopped his walking to let Rey catch up. He'd been striding shortly ahead of her, long legs taking him farther quicker. He turned to check on her, reflex more than anything. But she's gone. All he can see is white landscape as far as his eyes reach. Everything is made more hazy by the amount of snow, and the way Bens chest is now heaving isn't helping his blurry vision. She's _gone_. He turns around again frantically, in a full circle and she is _nowhere to be found_. The panic is rising in his chest and he heaves another breath as he begins to run, screaming out for her.  
_Rey! REY! Where are you? Please REY!_  
He turns behind a dune of white and there she is, but she's collapsed in the snow and ice, slowly getting covered in new layers as they fall on her.  
Ben _sprints_.  
"Rey. Rey please!", he kneels in the snow and begins to brush her off. She's breathing, but they're shallow and labored even unconsciously. She's blue. Even her sun tanned skin, something Ben always connects to her warmth and light, can't escape the freezing temperatures.  
"Rey please, Rey you have to wake up." Ben is _pleading_. He slips his arms under her and lifts her from the snow like she's weightless, still muttering to her,  
_Please Rey. Please wake up. I need you Rey, I need you to wake up. Please Rey wake up for me._  
He removes and bundles her in one of his jackets and begins to walk faster, curling her body as closely to his as he can get. By the time the Falcon comes into his view he's running, all he can think of is Rey unconscious in his arms and the panic that fills his mind. He can feel her through their bond but she's a blank slate, he can't read anything from her. Once he reaches the ship he quickly carries her inside and to the back of the cockpit to lay her on one of the cushioned benches. He's scattering around then, grabbing every dry clothing item in sight and the two blankets they have aboard going to Rey after and laying them on the ground. He quickly strips her until the layers are dry then begins to recover her in the dry items.  
He keeps pushing at the bond. Keeping a careful thought on it, hoping to find a spark of any kind. Rey is _so cold_.  
"Rey, please. I need you to wake up. I need you please, please wake up." He's rubbing his bare hands, still warm from his own gloves, on her cheeks, trying to warm her face desperately. Minutes pass and Rey is gaining natural color, no longer looking quite so frozen so Ben goes to the control panel and starts the ship going back to Rey to check on her while the ship prepares for flight. He kneels next to the bench, silently begging her through the bond to wake up. To just be alright.  
_Rey, I love you. Please, wake up. Please._  
He lets himself fully say the words in his mind for the first time and he thinks about how badly he needs her to be alright. He can't even let himself think of what he would do if she _wasn't_.  
He returns to the control panel and sits in the pilots chair, slowly bringing them into the air and beginning to set the navigation system to take them back to the Resistance base. He's trying to set things as quickly as possible when he hears a clatter behind him as a jacket with heavy buckles slides off of Rey and onto the floor. He sees her raise up on her elbows, just slightly, color back to normal and confusion on her face.  
"What happened?" Her voice is a creak. Ben nearly hurls his body from the chair, covering the space between them in just a few long, quick strides until he's next to her again. His hands instantly go to her face, inspecting it for signs of distress as he sinks to his knees on the floor again.  
"Rey I.." He starts but she cuts him off without pause.  
"You said you love me"  
Rey's voice is no longer a croak, instead it's full, dripping with hope and amazement. With everything she has ever longed for. Ben freezes.  
So maybe she hadn't been totally unconscious, if she's heard him say it through their bond..  
He blushes madly, instantly dropping his chin to hide his burning face. But as fast as he drops it her hands are there clasping his cheeks softly, bringing it back up to look her in the eyes.  
"You said you love me." She repeats.  
Ben has to speak at this point, there's no other outs for him, so he sighs and nods his head in her hands.  
"I do." And Rey is confused, because he looks suddenly sullen, upset at the admission. She reaches out through the bond to sense what he's feeling and even with him blocking a lot of it, she feels what she's looking for  
_I do and I know you will never feel the same._  
She's tumbling off of the bench then, onto Ben and thusly onto the ground. She can't form words yet so she just shakes her head back and forth frantically until she has her hands back on his cheeks and she breathes out the words,  
_"I love you, Ben."_ And she's gasping them out but she has to say the words because they're bubbling up from her throat without her permission anyway. "Of _course_ I love you. How could you not know that already?"  
She's shaking her head again but slowly, in disbelief. Ben's face is a rainbow of emotions. Elation, confused hope, absolute shock and Rey does the only thing she can. She closes the space between them, bringing their lips to meet and giving him everything at the same time. She pushes herself into Bens mind as she grinds her hips without meaning to against his.  
_They're sitting in his chambers. In the parlor area and he's sitting on the couch, bent over to reach the small table in front of him where he's scrolling on a datapad through some new Intel his mother has put under his order. Rey's legs are dangling over the armrest and she's sprawled out lengthwise with her head resting in his lap. She's just laying there, eyes going from lazily closed in comfort and silent interest in what Ben is doing. She has one arm laying up so she can hold his hand loosely. The parlor is basked in sunlight and among their intertwined fingers there are two small glimmers catching and reflecting the sunlight. On their fingers. Rey brings her elbow down and with it his hand. She brings them both to her lips and kisses softly on the spot where their rings are._ Wedding rings. _Ben looks down to his lap to smile at her, bright and unabashed. There's something warmer than usual in his eyes, a light that looks permanent now. Rey smiles back with everything in her._  
Rey comes out of Bens mind with a gasp into their kiss. Hope rising and constricting in her chest. He gives back as good as he gets, pushing his tongue into her mouth as she opens it to gasp, hips grinding back. He knows what she's seen inside his head, he put it there for a reason. To reassure her. To prove that he meant the words. She received the information clearly if her body language was any indication, rubbing her hips again before adjusting to get a better fit of their bottom halves. Ben opened his mouth this time, moaning into the kiss before breaking away with a growl. He sounded primal, animal. Her head spun as she reached down to feel at the front of his trousers, searching for the bulge she'd just felt against her thigh. Ben groans when she finds it, biting his lip to quiet himself as she rubs his cock through layers of fabric, not enough but he'll take what he can get, returning to Rey's lips. His head is spinning now too and he goes to secure his hands on her when he realizes his hands already had on their own. They'd snuck under her layers of clothing to find her skin and he was squeezing tightly, thumbs rubbing her hip bones in tiny circles. She broke away from the kiss to yank at the fabric covering his torso. Ben is happy to oblige. The ships on autopilot, he can indulge himself considering how bare he'd just let her see him.  
Even after months of being _intimate_ with Rey Bens hands still go numb, his head fuzzy and overwhelmed by her brightness. He's never felt the way he does when they're together, as close as they can get, practically one being connected at the mind with two bodies. Rey is terribly shy still, but he knows how immense her vulnerability is because he's seen it through her mind. He takes things slowly, reassures her frequently.  
His entire adult life sex had been a simplistic gesture, when he was Kylo Ren it had been entirely meaningless, merely a release with someone who would become a ghost to him again as soon as he was finished with her. With Rey, Ben felt like his entire world was engulfed in flame, his mind was a frantic mess of hunger and he felt _so connected_. Full. Complete in her. He let himself show his vulnerability on his face. She'd kiss it, forehead to chin, always mindful of his scar-her own doing-kissing over his eye lids and ending at his mouth.  
She'd stripped him down to his trousers without him realizing it and he quickly tried to equalize the situation. Pulling her clothes off; jacket pushed down her arms, two sweaters gently pulled over her head, then a Resistance issue flight top until her chest was bare before him. He ducked down to take one of her pert nipples into his mouth, already hard from likely a mix of the cold and her growing arousal. She moaned aloud, gasping.  
"Ben, _please_ "  
Ben would happily admit that Rey could make him do anything. He was a puppet to her whims when it came down to it. But especially times like now. He couldn't deny her anything. Taking his mouth off her nipple with a wet _pop_ before going to pay attention to the other, reaching down to rub between her thighs. He decided he needed a little more leverage than he had, quick to grab her hips and gently flip them so Rey laid on the ground and he hovered above her grasping at her pants, hooking his thumbs inside and pulling down until Rey kicked them the rest of the way off for him leaving her in just her thin boy shorts. He went back to reconnect their lips but she stopped him short,  
"No no no. Fair's fair." She tugged at the waistband of his trousers and he chuckled softly, holding his body up to give her space between them to reach down and unbutton them, pushing them down his muscular hips just enough to expose the bulge in his underwear. He hissed as she ran her hand over it, grabbing lightly, a wicked smirk on her lips. He replaced the smirk with his lips, pushing her softly back to the floor, careful to rest her head on a small pile of their discarded clothing and letting some of his weight rest against her. Ben can't stop thinking about how _warm_ she is, when just before he was worrying he'd let her die of exposure or hypothermia, the way her skin had tinged a distinct blue that reminded him of all the death he's ever seen. He never wanted Rey to look that way again..  
While he's lost in thought, Rey moves down, inching her body lower until she can reach his hard dick behind the fabric of his underclothes. She reaches for him, wrapping her fingers around his girth and Ben lets out a hiss of pleasure and snapping his eyes to her. Rey arches her back to grind against him again and he comes back at her by lifting her, like she's _weightless_ up and into his lap. She wraps her legs around his waist out of habit and he stands abruptly, turning to press her into the wall and kiss down her neck and to her collar bone.  
"What Rey? What are you thinking?" Bens words are growled out but have a hint of desperation in the words. Rey responds with no hesitation,  
"That I want you."  
Ben smirks and bites down on her nipple before suckling on it softly to ease the tender flesh, "What do you want from me?" He asks cheekily, "Tell me what you want, Rey."  
"I want you to _fuck me_ " she responds, exasperated, raw. "Please Ben."  
The words make his cock instantly harder and he didn't know that was possible. Rey feels it twitch against her inner thigh and grinds back in answer. She's not getting her way as fast as she wants. She lets him know by using the trick she _knows_ will get his attention.  
_Please, Ben. You already make me beg for it, don't drag it out more._  
Rey pushes the thought through the bond to Ben, trailing behind it an image of their last time in bed.  
_They're in Bens chambers as usual, her legs locked around his waist just the way they are now but he's buried inside her. They're both climaxing together, complete. Rey's head is thrown back in bliss and Ben is grasping her ass in one hand and her breast in the other as he moans into her shoulder._  
Ben groans again and Rey smiles, discretely moving to push off the last of his clothing and grasp him (finally) in her hands. Ben is big, not that Rey has a ton to compare him to, but she knows enough to know that he's above average in the concerning area. It takes both of her hands to properly wrap around him and she guesses she's too innocent and inexperienced because she's honestly a little amazed by Ben's cock.  
She's also a little amazed by the noises he makes. Tiny grunts and moans that come from somewhere deeper than his throat. Like the ones he's making. Rey chuckles darkly before hitching her legs around his waist again, using the wall as leverage and lifting herself enough to reach between them and push her underwear to the side before teasingly rubbing his cock against the growing wetness between her thighs. Not letting him in, just teasing, enjoying the noises that come out of him at the feeling.  
"Rey, _fuck_. You are trying to kill me" Bens voice is hardly a whisper but there's still a bite to it. Rey takes it into account, leading the head of his cock back to her center and finally, she looks up to meet his eyes. It's something she always does, when they're like this. A sort of approval, last nod of acceptance. A silent _please_. Ben takes hold of her hips tightly and slams into her, relishing in the feeling. Sex with Rey.. Ben can barely even form full thoughts about how amazing sex with Rey is. Ben feels like it's coming home. Full acceptance. The deepest kind of _love_.  
He begins to lay kisses against her chest, lightly, then soft nips with his teeth as he begins to move in and out of her. Ben isn't a quiet human being in bed, unlike how he is in the rest of his life. He's never had a real problem with controlling his mouth during sex until Rey. Now he can't keep his trap shut. He feels like it's their bond (another of the million things he chalks up to the force bond), which seems to completely enrapture the both of them during. It's like the world around them dissipates, several times it's ended up making things awkward. After the second time they were walked in on and accidentally gave both Luke and one of his new _much younger_ padawans a show for a good five minutes before Luke could get them to snap out of their world and into reality. And, as Luke said while laughing his head off, " _Cover their shame_ ". They decided to put new locks on both of their chambers that only they had keys to.  
Ben was grunting loudly now, face buried in Rey's neck as he lifted her repeatedly, making her bounce on him. His hands gripped her ass cheeks, squeezing the taught muscles and moaning at the fact that she was _his_.  
"Ben. Please..please, just. _Fuck_." Rey can't even make out a sentence. Ben is everywhere, deep inside her building her orgasm up with perfect thrusts straight to that spot she didn't even know about before him, in her head surrounding her thoughts. She can feel _all_ of him, including the way he's thinking about her, their bond is so open he might as well be saying the words aloud,  
_Rey, Rey look at me._  
You're so beautiful Rey. You're perfect  
And even softer _I love you Rey. You're everything. You're everything to me._  
Rey's being pushed closer and closer to the edge by Bens thoughts and she begins to move her hips in time with his, meeting his thrusts with the same force he's meeting her with. He finds her mouth with his, kissing up her neck until their lips meet. Rey moans into the kiss, grasping at Bens shoulders and back with her fingernails, scraping hard as he brings her over the edge with a muffled but still booming moan into his neck. Ben follows her a few thrusts later, the fluttering and constricting of her walls around his cock as _he_ made her quake and writhe in orgasm.  
They stay there, him holding her tightly and her returning the grip as best she can. He slowly pulls himself out of her, setting her gingerly on the ground and lifting her face up to place a kiss on her lips. Rey smiles up at him when they part, then quickly, softly, "I love you." Comes from her mouth. Ben smiles and cups his hands to her cheeks, staring down at her- all but underwear naked- with _him_ , beautiful and absolutely perfect. His Rey.  
_"I love you, Rey."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS DONE YALL.  
> This is still taking over my life because I'm working on the epilogue now but the big bitch is done, guys. I survived. I want to say a huge thanks to everyone who left me kudos; it helps a lot to push me with writing, so really this is for yall.

_We bought a lot of things  
To keep you warm and dry  
And a funny old crib on which the paint won't dry  
I bought you a pair of shoes  
A trumpet you can blow  
And a book of rules  
On what to say to people  
When they pick on you  
'Cause if you stay with us you're gonna be pretty Kookie too_  
\-------------------------------------------  
Rey is in the training room with Luke the second time it happens. It brings her to her knees. Not in pain, just in how _unusual it feels_. Alien. Luke stops his forms and silences his saber, kneeling down to her with a protective hand on her shoulder.  
"Are you alright, Rey?" He sounds concerned but not overly so. Luke never seems to let his composure really falter. Never shows too much emotion. "You've been a little off the past few weeks. Do you feel ill?"  
Rey shakes her head no, holding her hand up to signify she just needs a minute. The fluttering doesn't stop though, if anything it increases. Rey gasps quietly.  
"I just. I don't feel sick. Not right now. I feel fine I just.." Rey's words are a little garbled, she's speaking quickly. The flutters continue and then suddenly slow until they're gone.  
She looks up to Luke, "I'm fine. Really, let's try again, third form." She tries to stand but her legs wobble just a little. Luke gives her a skeptical look, then shakes his head.  
"No. No, we're done for today. Rey, maybe you could benefit from a trip to the MedBay.."  
"I feel fine." Rey stops him as he trails off, hoping he won't start again. "It's probably just Ben, the bond, you know." She's nodding her head to convince him but underneath her façade she's silently starting to panic.  
"I'll take the free time to meditate, I'm sure it'll help."  
Rey is waving him off, slowly backing herself out of the room. She grabs her trusty old satchel that's sitting by the door and throws it over her shoulder with a quick wave goodbye to Luke. He's staring at her, like he knows something. What, Rey couldn't begin to guess, she was still overwhelmed and confused. As she walked briskly to the far corner of the base, towards Bens room (which has slowly become _their room_ , bits and pieces of Rey being slowly brought into the room over the months until it looked like a hybrid mix of their two separate quarters into one). She turns a corner and ducks into a dark alcove as she feels another flutter start up. Her hand flies to her stomach unconsciously. Her brain races. What if she _is_ ill? It could jeopardize future missions, her training..  
The flutter stops and she stands up again, trying to unrumple her clothes, brushing her pants with her hands and then straightening her shirt and the belt she always wears around her waist. Her hands stop on her belt, as suddenly she has a horrifying thought. _The flutter_.  
She rushes the rest of the way, trying to get into their room and their bed as soon as possible. She takes care to mute and fuzz over the bond just slightly, so Ben can't pick up on her panic from planets away and come running to find her when he returns from the mission he's on with Leia. When she reaches the door she takes a deep breath and realizes she'd been holding her breath, she pushes it open and rushes inside, setting her satchel down and pulling off her belt. She searches the floor for one of Bens shirts, one of the soft worn in ones he wears for training (and Rey has come to sleep in most nights). She finds one, an off looking grey affair that's plenty big and equally comfortable. She pulls it on and rucks off her trousers, climbing into their bed. She grabs for one of Bens pillows, bringing it to hug at her chest. It smells like him. She feels another flutter and hugs the pillow harder, closing her eyes. Either they're getting softer, or Rey is getting used to the strange feeling inside her. She can't bring herself to even _think_ what her brain is logically telling her to think. Or even consider. Rey focuses on her breathing, holding Bens pillow close to her chest. She's trying to force her mind into meditation but it's racing wildly without any of her control. She tosses and turns uncomfortably until her breathing steadies and she falls asleep.

When Rey wakes up there's darkness coming through the windows. She raises up to rest with her elbows and looks around the room for a sign of Ben. She wonders what time it is. Then, out of the fresher, Ben walks into the room with a towel in his hand and sleep pants low on his hips. Rey spends a second (or a few) staring at how _magnificent_ he looks bathed in moonlight. She opens her mouth and accidentally yawns when she tries to speak, language coming out totally garbled. Ben looks over, realizing she's awake, even if it's just barely.  
"Hey" he says in a whisper, "it's late, go back to sleep." He drops the towel and crawls into bed next to her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her to his chest. She shifted, intertwining their legs and feet then sighing contently.  
"How did the mission go?" She asks sleepily. He shakes his head but says, "It was fine. I'll tell you tomorrow. _Sleep_."  
She sighs and settles her head onto his chest, his hand absently finds her hair and his fingers start to run through it softly, calmingly. Rey _hmm's_ happily, mumbles, "Love you" and falls back to sleep.

When Rey wakes up it's frantic, sitting up straight with a gasp. Ben is reading in one of the large cushy armchairs in the corner of the bedroom. He's dressed for the day but the drapes are pulled shut, keeping the room dim. Rey can see Bens hands as he closes his book and reacts to Rey's awakening. He's up and out of the chair, next to her in their bed impossibly fast.  
"Hey, is everything alright?" His voice is calm but she can feel his anxiety through the bond. Rey nods her head quickly and she can _feel_ the fluttering and the panic it brings to her chest.  
"I'm fine, just a bad dream" she pushes the panic down, fuzzes out the bond. She smiles at him softly and lifts her hand to push his hair out of his face. Ben smiles back and leans in to kiss her softly, petting her hair lovingly. Rey yawns and looks around the room.  
"What time is it?" She asks groggily. She can see the dim morning light coming through the curtains but she can't determine the time properly because of the heavy drapes.  
"It's almost time for us to go meet mother for breakfast." Ben places a soft kiss on her forehead and looks back to her hazel eyes.  
"What's the matter?", he asks incredulously and now he's looking at her strangely, scanning her face for anything telling. Rey simple shakes her head 'no' and waves her hands as if to push off the subject.  
"It's that late already why did you wake me up?" Rey starts to move as if to get dressed but Ben catches her by the hand before she can get up and pulls her back to him, gently resting her on top of him lying down.  
"I didn't wake you because you spent most the night having nightmares, I figured you could use any extra sleep you could get." Bens voice is warm but there's an undertone that Rey can feel. Her thoughts are confirmed when he sighs and asks,  
"What was it about?" His tone is shyness, under his real concern. He's never tried to pry too much with Rey, he trusted her to tell him if something was wrong.  
"Just a bad dream", Rey shrugs, "I don't really remember much of it." And she's not lying exactly. She can't remember much of it, just hazy little spots here and there. The fluttering in her middle stops and she tries to fool Ben with a fake half smile. He returns the smile but with a real one and Rey is going to go crazy trying to keep Ben from finding out what really wrong.  
She purses her lips, asking Ben for a kiss. He leans down and obliges her, then rolls to the side so she can scootch herself off the bed and begin to dress herself. She's searching one of the wardrobes built into the walls, looking for her pilots uniform tank top. She grabs it off the hanger it's up on, then turns to search the floor for a pair of her black training leggings, bending down. Then the flutter stars and Rey's mind is thrown back to her dreams, remembering in short flashes.

_"You have got to be kidding me."  
It's Bens voice, he sounds exasperated and frustrated, "Who creates this and have they ever heard of the concept of making products user friendly??"  
Rey is standing in the doorway watching him. Ben is sitting on the floor with a million and one different pieces scattered around him, a large box in the middle of the room and she doesn't know when on earth they painted a room the funky pale blue-green that it is. It makes her think about the way the sky would look on Jakku when the sun was rising for a moment. It's almost identical actually.  
Then she's brought back to the sight of herself in the doorway. She's laughing, bright and open. She's standing with one leg popped, leaning into the doorframe, one hand resting on her hip and the other sitting gently on her stomach.._

Rey's hand goes to the her belly instinctively, like in the dream. The fluttering stops, then starts again and she has to _get up_. She has to get up before Ben starts to realize anything is going on. She rights herself, standing up straight and grabbing Bens big armchair by the armrest to steady herself. She tried her best to angle her front away from Bens eye sight. She's mostly successful, but when the fluttering stops she turns to face him and he's already standing up from the bed, confusion and worry.  
"You're lying." His words are curt. Short as his temper. Rey had learned that one of Bens pet peeves was lying. His life had been full of being lied to before the Resistance, now that it was different he was quick to be accusative any time he felt someone wasn't being truthful with him. Rey shook her head, "No no really I'm fine." She says, then she lets the façade slip away turning to him fully, "I've just been feeling...a little weird. I don't know, maybe I am sick..Luke suggested I go to the MedBay just to check."  
Bens eyes are soft now, understanding. He walks to her and pulls her into his arms in a tight hug. He presses a kiss to the top of her head.  
"Let's go meet mother for breakfast, then while I go to our training session with Luke and you will go to the MedBay and talk to the doctor." Ben says it with so much _certainty_ , like everything is going to be fine, regardless of why she's been feeling these alien flutters he doesn't even know about.

 _..The hand resting on her stomach rubs in a circle, caressing the bump there lovingly.  
"Why didn't you just get one that was already put together?", she's giggling a little then a lot when Ben looks up, eyes flashing dark for a moment before the light returns and he smiles at her with wide annoyed eyes.  
"Because dear, putting it all together is part of the _ goddamn nesting period" _he says the last three words with a sneer, "at least according to mother." Ben rolls his eyes with the finish of his sentence. He holds up what he's been working on, a patchwork of wood, two wide pieces separated by a dozen or so identical spindles that Ben has screwed all together.  
"One wall of the crib, down.", Rey says, tone jokingly serious. She turns to walk out of the room, laughter still spilling from her lips, hand rubbing her bump._

Rey barely gets through breakfast without panicking, slowly remembering bits and pieces of her dream as the day goes on.

By the time she's walking to the MedBay she's sweating, panicky. As soon as she was positive Ben was fuzzed out of their connection and inside the training room with Luke she was practically running down the narrow hallways. She finally _finally_ gets to the automated double doors of the infirmary wing. She presses the button on the wall twice, quickly. Then two more times, frantic until the doors _whooshed_ open and she ducked inside.  
The MedBay was serine at all times, sterile and easily the least comforting place on the entire base. Rey walked to the counter just on the other side of the doors, saying a silent hello to the receptionist with a wave of her hand.  
"Hi, I uhm...I need to have a visit with a doctor?" Rey's voice is barely a whisper and she must look like the most out of place she's ever looked.  
"Alright, I'm guessing you don't have an appointment?" The woman sitting at the desk asks, no malice or attitude in her voice. Rey is thankful, she shakes her head no.  
"Okay that's fine too, I just need you to fill out this digital paperwork," she hands Rey a datapad and motions to her left where there's two long rows of sterile white chairs. Rey nods in thanks and takes the pad, walking to take a seat.  
Rey doesn't have much in the means of a medical history. She doesn't even know her last name. But she fills out the paperwork to the best of her ability. She stops when she gets to the line asking the reason she's come in to the MedBay that day. Rey wrestles with her answer before simply putting down 'stomach issues' and moving on. The next one that stops her is at the bottom of the second page. In dark bold capital letters, the question  
**PLEASE INDICATE IF YOU ARE OR MAY BE PREGNANT.**  
Rey almost gets up and walks out because of her nerves. Her heart is in her throat as she skips over "yes", "no" and checks the option marked _"maybe"_.  
She returns the datapad to the front desk and the kind woman tells her that a doctor will call her back soon. She walks back to the chairs with her head hung down, eyes to the floor. After what feels like an absolute eternity she hears a faint " _Rey?_ " from the back of the room, there's a nurse with a datapad holding open a door. Rey stands and walks briskly to her, avoiding any and all eye contact. The nurse tries to make small talk with her while she takes Rey's weight and height down, asking a medical question here and there. Then she's alone in a room, told that the doctor will be right with her, and Rey is already tired of being told she's going to have more of a wait before she has some answers. Eventually there's a soft knock on the door and an older woman with soft eyes walks into the room. She's teeny, eyes huge behind her glasses.  
"You're miss Rey. Hi, I'm Dr. Gorson, how can I help you today?"  
Rey, for the first time today, doesn't have the words "I think I'm pregnant" on the tip of her tongue, viable to burst out at any moment.  
"I'm.. I've been having some stomach issues, I guess. Just a weird feeling randomly. Like flutters inside my gut" Rey describes her symptoms to the best of her ability but even saying it aloud makes her feel ridiculous.  
"Okay well, we'll take a blood and urine sample, do some swabs of your throat and see what we can do from there!" The doctors voice is chipper and bright and Rey feels nothing but absolute dark.  
_What was she going to do with whatever information she got here today? What was the point? If she was...she wasn't going to be able to be okay with it. She couldn't even begin to think about what Ben would say....What he would do.._  
Rey nods her head in agreement and goes through the tests monotonously, desperate for an answer. That's all. Just a yes or a no. She's sitting in the small room from before by herself after her tests have been done, dressed in a hospital issue gown, kicking her feet back and forth in the air. She thinks about the dream she had. It had to have just been her imagination. She subconsciously was worried about this, so of course her brain would create a fantasy that played into her fears. It made sense.  
She tried to rationalize it all while she sat there waiting. The flutters, the dream. It was all in her head...  
The knock on the door startles her out of her thoughts, then Dr. Gorson is walking in again, smile still upon her face. That had to be good..right?  
"Well, I have a few questions first," the doctor pulled up her rolling chair, datapad in her hands tapping away as she sat down, "these 'flutters' you mentioned, are they painful?" Rey shakes her head no, the doctor records it.  
"And the stomach issues..vomiting? Queasy? Nauseous?" The doctor looks up at her, meeting her eye.  
"I guess it's not really a sick feeling...I'm just not..I'm freaked out by the fluttering feeling" Rey spills exasperated, until finally, " _I'm terrified I'm pregnant._ "  
The silence in the room is not reassuring.  
"Well, we have to do another test to determine that...but, it is what I would personally suspect." Dr. Gorson looks _sorry_ and Rey is angry that she's being felt _sorry for_.  
"But then, we won't know for sure until we run a pregnancy test. I could be wrong, especially considering your size, and the flutters..you're much to small to be pregnant enough to feel the baby kicking or moving.." The doctor says reassuringly, the way it sounds -so clinical- it makes Rey feel a little better.  
_She could be wrong_  
Dr. Gorson taps her datapad a few times, putting in the orders for a pregnancy test, explaining to Rey how they'll simply be taking another blood sample, that would be tested and determine if she was pregnant or not. Once Rey had assured her she understood Dr. Gordon looked her in the eyes,  
"Rey, I think it would be best if you called someone down for emotional support...the father..a friend.."  
Rey nods. She has no choice now..  
Dr. Gorson leaves Rey alone to make a call using one of the base-line comms. She presses in the familiar code to the training room, then takes a deep breath before pressing the 'call' button. The comm makes a low buzzing noise and then Rey can hear labored breathing as Luke presses the return button on the comm in the training room.  
"Yes?" He asks into the speaker then, "Hello?"  
"Luke." Rey can barely even speak when she tries to. She can't find the words she needs for this. A long moment passes and then Rey decides she can't do this the way she thought she could. So instead she lets down the barrier she's had erected all day and lets all of her panic and terror wash into Bens mind. Another moment passes, both infinite and fleeting until,  
"Rey what's wrong? Are you still in the MedBay? I'm coming, I'll be right there I promise don't move." The words are from Ben now, scrambling and worried. Rey presses the comm button again says a quick "Thank you" into the speaker and sits back down on the sterile exam table, waiting.  
She can hear when Ben comes into the wing. He's not _screaming_ exactly, just speaking with a huge booming voice. She hears him pretty clearly ask where she is, who is her doctor, until finally the questions grow clearer and closer until he's opening the door and Rey has never been so happy to see his face. The nurse that helped lead him to her room excuses herself and Ben quickly goes to his knees in front of the table, picking up Rey's hand and kissing it softly.  
"What's the matter?" He's weary, she can hear it in his voice. Worried.  
Rey can't speak so she just lets her thoughts return to moments ago with the doctor, letting it wash into Ben's mind.  
_If the test DOES come back positive there are several options you can explore, you and the father.." Dr. Gorson fumbles with the words. It's well known all over the base that Rey and Ben were an item, were something. Most people's opinion of her choice of mate were negative.. "We can discuss those options after we have the results...Now if the result is positive we'll move you to another room where we can do an ultrasound..."_  
She fuzzes out the thought and it takes everything in her to look up to Bens face.  
But his face isn't basked in horror like she expects. He's white as a ghost, but his face isn't upset. It's blank. He stares at her with wide understanding eyes for what seems like hours but has to be mere minutes before opening his mouth.  
"Really?" His voice isn't horror or panic or even concern.  
It's wonder. Amazement. Hope.  
"You're...you might be-" Ben is interrupted by another knock at the door and then Dr. Gorson entering, datapad in hand. She's smiling and Rey doesn't know if that's good or bad anymore.  
"Well, we have the results just coming through to my datapad now, Rey. Hello.." The doctor turns to Ben, for his name most likely. He stands up from his kneeling position and shakes his hands out nervously, responding with a quiet, "Ben."  
Dr. Gorson looks at the tablet in front of her face for a few eternal moments before looking up with a smile. Rey doesn't know if that is _good_ or _terrible_ and she would really just like no more smiles that confuse her, she wants answers, she wants assurance-  
"Well Rey, Ben, congratulations, you're.." Doctor Golson pauses now, then with slight confusion in her voice, "..about _14 weeks pregnant_."  
Rey's vision goes black.

When Rey comes to she's laying down in a different room, Ben is at her bedside, looking concerned.  
"Where are we..?" She asks groggily, "what happened?"  
Ben stands up from his chair and moves to sit next to her on the bed. Rey realizes she's in a hospital gown.  
"They've been waiting for you to wake up to do your ultrasound." Ben says it calmly, like this is a regular thing and not a huge gigantic thing.  
"I don't.. What are you taking about?"  
"Rey you're..we're.." Bens talking fast but then sighs, "why didn't you tell me you thought you were pregnant?" He looks at her and she feels the betrayal he must feel because it burns her through the bond.  
"I didn't know for sure...I thought that there was no way I could be..but now..now..." Rey starts to fall apart as she's speaking until she bursts into tears at the end, hanging her head and starting to sob into her hands. Bens eyes bug almost out of his head. He looks panicked, reaching to bring her close to his body in a hug while he murmured to her,  
_What? Rey please, don't cry. Please, this is a good thing this is great.._  
Before she can realize she's doing it she's reaching up with her neck craned to kiss him, wrapping herself in him.  
"You're not angry at me." It's not a question. It's a statement of fact that's Rey is desperately confused by.  
"We're going to have a baby, Rey." Ben says it calmly and Rey wonders how on earth he could be this calm. "This is the best thing that's ever happened to me. _You_ , you are the best thing that's ever happened to me."  
Rey sobs again, loud, chest constricting, face twisted in emotion. But now she's sobbing as she looks Ben right in the eyes (and they're definitely glazed over, he's not crying but just barely), his words spinning through her head, reassuring her. Tears begin to stream down her face of their own accord and Rey lets them, dripping down her cheeks and soaking the shoulder of Bens shirt as they laugh and cry at the same time.

The ultrasound photo gets tucked into Bens jacket pocket as they leave the MedBay.  
They sat with a technician for what felt like hours, looking at a blurry black and white image of Rey's insides on a screen with tears in their eyes and smiles on their lips. Ben feels like he's walking on thin air. His head is swirling with the possibilities of this. _Their child_. He's thinking to himself about the factor of gender, will he have a son? Will he have his fathers ( _and grandfathers_ ) nose? Or a daughter, and will she look like Rey? Will she have teeny tiny stature on the outside but the fiery will of her mother on the inside? He realizes he's been waking around in a trance, Rey is stopped ahead of him, giving him a funny look about his behavior. She smiles and shakes her head with a laugh. And then he's right there holding her, laughing with her. At the sheer idea of it. The thought of _them_. Becoming a _family_. They're standing there, laughing almost uncontrollably when Rey's face flashes different and her hand flies to her belly. She doesn't have a bump, not really, even at three and half months (and Rey is beside herself with the knowledge that she's been growing _their child_ without her even knowing it.)  
"What's wrong?" Bens eyes are like saucers, suddenly extremely force sensitive, she can feel his heart start to race with worry. Rey can't help her giggling.  
"It's just flutters." She says softly, then reaches out and grabs one of his hands, bringing it to rest where the fluttering feeling is inside her.  
Bens face is priceless. Shock then absolute awe. He drops to his knees right there in the hall, pasting both hands across her belly, looking at it intently.  
"It...does it hurt?", he asks hesitantly. Rey shakes her head and smiles down at him.  
"No, it just feels...funny?", she giggles again as he feels around her still-flat stomach for more movement as the fluttering slows. They're silently trapped in their own world until they both hear a clacking of heels and then, much too close to them, someone clears their throat.  
_Uh oh._  
Rey shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath as she turns to face what has to be Leia standing just a few feet from where Ben is still on the ground, fondling Rey's stomach.  
"Do you two have something to share?" Leia's voice isn't angry, but she doesn't have a tone of happiness. More like terror.  
Ben stands quickly, brushing his pants off and turning to face his mother.  
"We..do." He answers her honestly, "but right here and now is not the time"  
Leia nods, curt but accepting. So diplomatic.  
"When can I expect this conversation?" She asks calmly. Rey looks to Ben for an answer and to her dismay he looks to her for the same. They share a worried look.  
"How about dinner tonight? I'll invite your uncle." Leia answers for them, waits for their nods and turns on her heel. She's two steps into her walk away when she turns around to add,  
"Oh and Ben dear, meet me a little earlier, there's a conversation that needs to be had.." Leia trails off, then adds, "just the two of us."

Ben has tried his hardest to make his relationship with his mother as strong as possible since he'd joined their forces. For the first while she was his best and only friend ( _not counting chewey, who still harbored some resentment for him_ ).  
Right now, sitting in her parlor room on her usually homey couch Ben felt stiff and awkward for the first time ever. He waited for her to speak. She waited for him to speak. The silence was only broken when a drone came in with their tea and she had to ask him when to stop pouring his cup.  
"Have you two talked about the future?" She asks finally. Ben doesn't know how to answer the question at first. He finally settles on simply saying,  
"Well,we did just find out today.." He had to clear his throat before continuing, "but, I fully intend for us to be a family." He says, assured. Leia's look isn't exactly skeptical, but there's doubt.  
"You're not planning to run away from this gigantic commitment?" And that stings him. From the look on her face, it's meant to.  
"You're not going to decide that you can't handle it?"  
Ben doesn't know where this anger is coming from. It's so _unusual_ for his mother.  
"I know my past is not a good example of my ability to commit, but I'm committed to Rey. I'm committed to our child." He's trying to keep his voice calm, collected. But inside his anger is rearing its head, "I'm not going anywhere."  
Leia's face changes in an instant, she goes from furious to beside herself with joy, sadness, Ben doesn't know. She takes a breath that seizes her chest and stands up, Ben mimics her and then she's crashed into him, hugging him tightly and she's like Rey, small but mighty. He hugs her back and she sobs against his shoulder before placing a hand on his each of his shoulders and pulling back to look at him.  
"Your father would be so proud of you, Ben." The words barely make it out of her mouth before she's sobbing again and Ben is holding her tight. Muttering to comfort her;  
_I'll make him proud, mom. I promise I'll do right by her. I promise I'll take care of my family. I promise._

Dinner is a more festive affair. Rey wears one of her nicer dresses, loose and flowing and her hair down and Ben wonders to himself how in the galaxy _this_ was his life. Luke is all congratulations. Leia can't stop asking Rey questions, most of which Rey blushes at the fact that she doesn't know the answer to. No one brings up the fact that they've been a couple less than a year-Ben's family seems to understand the force bonds' strength and power. And he hopes they understand what a huge commitment Ben had already made to Rey, long before their child was conceived.  
"Well, three and a half months!" She remarks, holding a wine glass up and Rey wishes momentarily that she could steal Leia's glass and down it. "Lord Rey I need a bump to obsess over! We need to get you on a prenatal nutrition plan, and on vitamins! There's so much to do!"  
Rey tried her best to smile through the discomfort. Grabbing Bens hand several times to feel flutters, until Leia catches them and takes over Rey's belly for herself, amazed by each tiny movement.  
"Ben we have to reformat your quarters, obviously add a nursery room. There's no way my grandchild is staying in the MedBay for any longer than the first night, we'll get you the best of caretakers for the night. Oh Rey, there is just _so much to do_ "

Luke tells them at their little celebration dinner that their training won't cease. He's serious about the subject, and despite Leia's complaints ( _immense_ ) Rey and Ben both agree with their master. Rey refused to concede her training from the first moment she was asked to. She'd never taken it easy, she was strong, young, resilient. She wasn't going to let anything hold her back, as long as Luke believed she was safe, she was going to train.  
The first time they enter the training room after the conversation however, things seemed to have changed slightly. Luke is sitting at the edge of the large mat that sits in the middle of the room. _Just meditating_. Rey huffs and the currant blows the wispy pieces of her stray hair up. Ben's holding her hand and gives it a squeeze before dropping and bringing his hands to rest calmly behind his back.  
"Uncle, what do you have planned for training today?", Ben asks, because he can feel Rey gnawing on the question in her mind.  
"We're going to be talking about your force bond, and the one that will automatically," Luke looked up from his meditation pose and to them finally, "probably _has already_ been awoken by your child."  
Ben and Rey share a very confused face.  
"Rey you've probably already been feeling it, slightly. The way your 'stomach issues' impacted you before makes me even more assured in this fact. Yes, you have been feeling the natural start of kicking and moving, but as the child grows so will the bond." He's speaking so factually. Rey finds it curious that Luke knows so much about pregnancy..but Rey chalks it up to Luke just having a large general range of knowledge on many subjects.  
"Ben, you will begin to feel the bond in just a few months. You need to prepare your mind for that change, if your mind is unprepared you'll be overwhelmed by bond you feel both paternally and through the force." Luke says finitely and motions for his nephew to sit on the mat and take his first mediation pose. Ben nods his head and sits down across from his master. Rey stays standing for a few moments but sits promptly when Luke throws her a wondering glance. He begins speaking again when Rey is settled.  
"The bond will develop quickly, you might get out of bed one morning with it, or be going about your day and feel it suddenly out of no where. You both need to be fully prepared for the inclusion of another force bond in your minds."  
Rey looks at Luke intently before asking in a soft voice, "..Will I be able to tell what the gender is...?" The unspoken _because of the bond_ hangs in the air. Luke shakes his head and chuckles slightly,  
"You're just dying to know aren't you? Women..." He rolls his eyes at that but Ben quips in,  
"I'd like to know as soon as possible, personally". Rey can't help the smile that comes to her lips. Ben's done nothing but show his eagerness and excitement about the baby. _Their baby._ Rey smiles wider at the thought and calms her face when Luke starts to talk again.  
"Your force bond with your child is going to be very different than the one you two share. And once they're born, you two might not retain the bond with them," Luke takes a deep breath before starting again, "You both must be working to maintain your training mentally and physically," he looks to Rey and amends, "until you can't anymore at least- or else your powers will suffer. We don't have the time to rework things that you both have already mastered."  
" _So you aren't going to keep me out of training?_ ", Rey can't help the words coming out of her mouth. She's been desperately afraid to lose focus on her hard work and honestly she's horrified at the idea of having to (or being able to) focus on the fact that she was growing a human being 24/7. She already spent enough of her waking hours concentrating on the baby. She needed some kind of mental break.  
"Quite the contrary," Luke smiles, the way he always smiles when he's about to hand them an interesting challenge, "you'll be training as hard as ever."

Leia takes it upon herself to make sure that Rey begins to eat and medicate and do " _birthing yoga_ ", the sheer idea of which terrifies Rey. The two of them are sitting together at the breakfast table in Leia's quarters, Rey drinking an _herbal non-caffeinated_ cup of tea and drifting between listening to Leia speak about doctor appointments and upcoming missions she has planned for Rey and Ben, and how Poe and Finn would be taking over all covert missions after she reached 6 months. _Less than two months left of normal life_ , she thought to herself a little bitterly. No more missions for a while. No more combat training. So much is going to change in so little time.  
She thinks about how she's going to swell in size (and her mind flashes back to the day she and Ben sat in the ultrasound room and saw the baby for the first time).  
_"Now, your vitals are all great, Rey. But you're about 10 pounds underweight for this point in your pregnancy. It's not a huge concern, but it could complicate things later on. Your main concern for the next few weeks is going to be trying to put on some weight for this baby." Dr. Gorson was looking at both of them, but she was talking to Rey. Who happened to be completely entranced by the picture on the screen, still showing her insides in black and white. Their baby moved and Rey felt the flutters happen as the screen went momentarily fuzzy. The correlation was almost too much for her. She squeezed Ben's hand tight, more about what she was watching than what she was hearing and he reached out through the bond to softly console her.  
"It's okay, we'll just focus on your eating, I'll help you. It'll be fine, Rey." Ben soothed with his mouth, the wrong wound, but Rey felt warmth at the love behind his words. She sat with a deaf ear to Dr. Gorson, not too worried about missing anything-Ben was all ears, taking mental notes of everything Dr. Gorson said- as she felt flutter after flutter in her stomach and watched their baby move on the screen, she thought to herself, to the baby;  
You're going to be strong. You're going to be perfect._

Ben is gone to a planet in the outer rim with Leia and Poe and Rey can't find it in her to get out of bed. She's been especially testy (which she's realized is just one of the _lovely_ side effects of pregnancy) for the past two weeks. As her training time grew to an end and she slowly had less and less physical opportunity to get her stress out she found herself waking up with a snarl on her lips that only Ben seemed to be able to calm. Without him here she had no training session to go to, look forward to. She worried for a moment that this is what her last few months of pregnancy we're going to be like. Three and a half months of boring misery. The moment ended quickly enough though as she felt a rumble in her stomach and then the usual sequence of flutters. Her hand reached down to rest on her now _actually there_ bump. It was tiny, poking out of her stomach awkwardly, the rest of her body still lanky and thin. She'd gained ten whole pounds but it all seemed to be _baby_. Again, a grumble from below, and she guessed if she didn't have Ben to get her out of bed, at least she had _baby_. And baby seemed to be hungry. She huffed to herself and began to roll herself off the bed, feet hitting the cold floor and almost retracting back into bed. Her stomach took priority though, and she padded softly from the bedroom through the hall, past Ben's silly _personal training room_ , and to their small dining area. She grabbed a ripe red piece of fruit out of the bowl on the counter and entered into the datapad on the wall for a droid to bring her breakfast. Her hand absently stayed at her bump, slowly rubbing back and forth over it, even at five months she was tiny but she'd had the bump start to grow on her as soon as she started to notice it.  
_Look! No, **Ben. Feel it I swear!** " Rey was squealing. She'd come running out of the bathroom after rolling out of bed early, leaving Ben grasping out in his sleep for her. She had on a loose pair of his boxers and a tank top of hers that clung to her body tightly. That wouldn't fit for long..  
"I'm listening, Rey I can hear you.", Ben's voice muffled by the pillow he'd reflexively brought to his head when Rey had come screaming. He didn't sound annoyed though, he never seemed to get truly annoyed at her, not anymore.. He pulled the pillow down from his face and his eyes nearly bugged out of his skull, narrowing in confusion.  
"Holy...there's.. **you have a bump!** "  
Rey nodded her head excitedly, grinning wide. She reached out and grasped one of his hands, bringing it to rest on the tiny protrusion that had seemed to appear over night. Ben's fingers roamed over her belly gently, like he was scared he would hurt her.  
"It's so tiny." His voice is almost a whisper in amazement, he scoots so he's eye level with Rey's belly button. He held his hands on either side of the small bump and placed a kiss in the middle, then all over. Rey giggled and whined half heartedly about tickling her as Ben whispers "I love you"s into her stomach, telling the baby._

Finn ends up bringing her the food she orders, much to her surprise.  
"I snatched it from the service droid." He chuckles after she opens the door and gives him a confused face. Finn had been in training for much of the past few months, also an important source of Intel about The First Order like Ben. Rey knew that her paramour actually saw her best friend more than she did now..  
"You're getting so _pregnant_ , Rey." Finn declares in surprise, setting down the tray of food on the table and Rey has to laugh at his expression.  
"I mean I hope so, I am five months pregnant after all.." She trails off jokingly as she sits down.  
"Besides," she says, "I think the more _pressing_ topic of conversation is you, my friend." With that she wiggled her eyebrows cheekily and Finn ducked his head a bit in embarrassment as Rey uncovered her tray and began to pick at the food she'd ordered.  
Rey was talking about Poe, who'd let it slip months ago in training to Ben that he was planning to _'Just go for it finally, no regrets'_. And when Poe finally got brave and _went for it_ , the news spread rather quickly.  
Apparently Poe had been squashing his feelings for, beyond months, pushing down his natural affection for Finn. He told Ben that after the fight on Starkiller; after the realization that Finn was still alive before the battle and the way they'd created a team together with ease-a nearly unstoppable team at that- he realized that he _"didn't want to ever be without him again"_. Apparently when Poe had come clean with his feelings Finn immediately reciprocated them. (If their almost week long absence from the base, locking themselves in Poe's quarters, was any indication.)  
Finn smiles shyly at the topic but soon his smile turned to running lips, telling Rey all about their so-far-love-affair.  
"How did you know, you know?" He says confusingly after a few moments, then amends, "with Ben. How did you know you wanted...this?" He motioned to Rey's body, and the rooms around them, Ben's quarters that has morphed into _their_ quarters. Rey thought for a long moment before shrugging.  
"I guess we had a slight advantage, the bond helped show me how similar we were..helped break the ice. But you and Poe never had ice to break..Ben and I, we hated each other." She laughs at the sheer idea. The sheer fact that the man who was now the father of her child had started out as her mortal enemy, even after he'd joined The Resistance. She shook her head and spoke again,  
"I guess I just wanted _him_ , primarily. I always grew up thinking love wasn't a real thing anymore. So I went into it just, not really believing that i would end up in love?" She takes a sip of tea and sets the cup down on the table after, rubbing her other hand over her bump.  
Finn nodded from across the table and smiled to himself at the sight of Rey, _not_ on Jakku (or trying to get _back_ to Jakku). But here on the Resistance army base, carrying the child of their top intelligence agent, beaming at him in absolute glee between bites of food. As her pregnancy went along she was slowly becoming a more refined version of herself, more like a dignitary and less like a sand scavenger. Leia was rubbing off on her just enough.  
"Rey." Finn starts, but can't immediately finish, throat suddenly stuck. He fights to open his mouth then saying, "I'm just..I'm so happy you found what you'd been looking for. I'm so happy." He shook his head back and forth in amusement.  
_I'm so happy._ The words raw, real. She _had_ found what she'd been looking for her whole life. Not just a family, but Ben, someone who was _part of her_. Rey's stomach began to flutter and her breath hitched slightly, remembering she now had _two_ that were part of her. Finn's eyes grew large in worry until Rey, laughing grabbed his hand to place it on her belly. His eyes grew even larger as he felt the kicks. Deliberate. Baby saying Hello. Finn let out a breathless sound from his throat before throwing his hands around Rey's shoulders bringing her in for a hug. She chuckled and hugged back, his words echoing in her head.  
_I'm so happy._

Rey and Ben wake up abruptly, at the same time. Rey rolling over on her side to look at him slowly, bump impeding her.  
_Something is wrong._  
Rey is only on her second week of month six. She's done with combat training and has been solely focusing her work on the bond that she's discovered with the baby. _Ben felt it before she did the first time, a hard kick in his mind. He **felt it** , stretching limbs a long breath and then nothing. But he felt it so strongly it nearly knocked the breath out of him.  
"What the hell was that??", he asked Rey from across their sitting room. She looked up from the book in her hands to give him a confused look.  
"What was **what?** "  
"You didn't feel that?" He asked, unbelieving.  
"Feel wha-aahh fuck!" Rey doubled over in the middle of her words. And Ben almost laughed, thought **THAT** , and went to her side quickly.  
"I'm guessing we have connection to the bond now." Rey says in a strained tone. She took a deep breath and righted herself, leaning in to the arm of the couch. She couldn't help but smile at this new intrusion. The feeling of their baby having its own consciousness almost enough to bring her to tears. The reality weighed in her mind and Ben felt it clear as day, he smiled at her, the mother of his child, two sides of the same coin. Rey smiled back with gusto, letting happy tears stream down her face._  
The work with the bond was exhausting, Rey would admit she crawled into bed earlier and earlier as the days went by. But she'd never felt _this_ through the bond. Kicks, stretching, a significantly mobile day, sure. Frequently Rey found herself not only feeling the physical motion of the baby, but the thought behind it. The unbeknownst little personality inside her.  
Right now all she could feel from the bond within herself was fuzz. A single look to Ben's face confirmed she wasn't crazy. She instantly felt the panic rise in her chest, then Ben, there next to her pushing into her mind to calm her.  
"We're going to the MedBay. Come on." Ben's words were calm, but underneath it Rey could hear it. Fear. Absolute terror.  
"Come on, baby get out of bed this is important, come on." His words started to run together the more he spoke, composure slipping. Rey rolled herself over to the edge of the bed, throwing her feet to the side and onto the ground, taking Ben's hand for support and putting the other hand on her belly, rubbing softly.  
The MedBay was deserted, which was a comfort for Rey, she didn't need encroaching eyes in her hour of horror. The nurse took them directly to the back, placing them in a room and hooking Rey up to a heart monitor before telling them the doctor would be in momentarily. They sat in absolute silence, holding hands and speaking through the bond only.  
_Everything will be okay.  
But what if it isn't..  
But it will be.  
But you don't know that!  
Breathe, just breathe._  
After what felt like eons but was merely moments, an older man opened the door, introducing himself as Dr. Vikas. The old man was sweet, obviously aware of their fear.  
"We're going to check the baby's oxygen levels and the heartbeat, if their oxygen levels are off, it's very very easy to monitor and regulate here in the MedBay." He said softly, handling them with kid gloves. Rey couldn't help but notice he didn't say anything about what they would do if they couldn't find a heartbeat, she felt Ben wonder the same thing. _Why._  
Dr. Vikas gave them both a long look, he seemed able to read their pain plainly on their faces. Their worry.  
"Now keep in mind, you both have a bond with this child, it could mean you just feel the baby during a normal time of rapid growth, at night, and interpret it as something being wrong." They both nod at his words, trying to accept them and calm down. The doctor tells them he'll be right back with some equipment and is out the door.  
Rey just wants to sleep. She closes her eyes and leans into Ben, resting her head on his shoulder. They're sitting side by side on the exam table, Ben's fingers twitching with nerves and Rey mentally exhausted just from the ordeal itself. She took a deep breath and pushed a terrified _I love you_ to Ben through the bond. He reciprocates it, pulling her closer to him, fingers still twitching as he wrapped her in his arms.

They left the MedBay around 5 the next morning, with heavy knowledge on their minds.  
_The baby was okay_ , that was what Rey kept trying to remind herself. _He_ was okay. Though they'd agreed that they wouldn't find out the sex of the baby until it was born, they both let the nurse who came in to do the ultrasound tell them. She was feeling around a Rey's bump, moving the little wand in her hands softly to find the baby.  
"The heartbeat looks good. Strong." She said softly. Rey could breathe a little better automatically. Then the nurse asked, "you two don't know the sex yet..I have it up on the monitor if you would like me to point it out and tell you.." Her words were skeptical, but the idea of knowing whether they were having a boy or a girl made both Rey and Ben's minds calm. They nodded, entranced.  
"Okay then," the nurse was much too chipper for the middle of the night, "then right _here_ ", she circled a spot on the monitor, "tells me you are having a boy." Her smile was radiant, happy for them. Through the bond Rey and Ben both internally started screaming. In excitement, joy, amazement.  
"His heart beat is strong, but..he does look rather small. You're underweight still for this point. The good news is that his heart is strong and his oxygen saturation is good." The nurse had turned off the machine but the image stayed on the screen, she turned to face them as she spoke.  
"Next we'll get you set up with an appointment with a nutritionalist. They'll help you with some more weight gain." She gave Rey a soft smile, relieving.  
"So...he. _He's probably fine_?" Ben spoke softly from out of nowhere. The 'He' burning his lips on the way out. The nurse nodded,  
"His heartbeat is strong, and his O2 levels are in the normal range. If the doctor thinks they need to be brought up we can work on that. I'll go get him now." She stood and exited the room and Rey finally looked up from the floor to look at Ben next to her. But when she looked to him, she found him hunched over, hands covering his face, hair falling around them, helping to mask him. His chest constricted once and he let out a sob. Rey's eyes bugged, she quickly turned to face him completely, hands reaching to his face.  
"Ben? _Ben_ what's wrong? They said that he's okay. He's got a strong heart. What's-" Rey was cut off again by a sob. She didn't know how to help, she felt completely powerless. She reached out through the bond finally, desperate to find out why he was inconsolable next to her.  
_Hey. What is wrong? He's okay. She said that he-_  
Rey is pushing the bond when Ben pushes back, suddenly angry, blocking her from his mind as he snaps his face away from his hands, scathing. He lets out a hissed but somehow billowing " _HE_ ". This anger, it wasn't new but it wasn't the usual anymore. It wasn't like Ben. It was like Kylo Ren.  
"You're upset that it's a boy?? I figured you wanted a _boy_.." Rey is talking fast, obviously uneasy. Wanting to fix it. Ben reared back from the table and Rey. Pushing her further with the bond, until he was backing away. Rey panicked. Jumping off the table to go after him but as quickly as she had her feet on the ground, Ben was out the door. Rey followed, hot on his trail as Ben took long strides through the hallways, ignoring Rey yelling behind him. He had to keep walking. Running. A boy. Another Solo male to cause chaos and pain in the galaxy. Ben had nothing but fears.  
"I swear to god, Ben" Rey screamed finally, stopped at the other end of the waiting room while Ben's hands twitched at the handle of the door.  
"I swear to god, if you make a woman who's six months pregnant chase you because of a hissy fit you will _not_ see the birth of your son." It was an empty threat and they both knew that. But the sheer thought horrified Ben enough to turn around. Rey looked at him with pity. His face a red mess, covered in tear stains and snot.  
"What in the galaxy has you so worried to have a boy?" She asks and Ben wants to scoff, retort with something like _What in the galaxy has you so worried about dropping him off on Jakku to live as an orphaned scavenger?_ But he knows better. And it would hurt her. Ben doesn't want to hurt Rey, ever. He takes a deep breath and hangs his head, Rey takes it as a sign to move to him, grabbing his face in her hands.  
"Our son will be amazing and wonderful, just like his father, and his father before him. And he will be loved more than anything in the galaxy." It's a statement of fact. Not just hope. Ben leans into her hands, and let's out through the bond once he's reopened it;  
_But what if I can't be what he needs me to be? What if I fail him? What if I am a terrible father? What if he hates me for the things I've done?_  
Rey rubs his back and fights away every worry he has until he's calm and pliable in her arms, exhausted.

Rey woke up to soft tickles across her bump. From the outside though, not the inside. She reached down without opening her eyes to feel for the cause and ended up with a handful of Ben's long black hair. Soft and thick between her fingers  
" _Good morning_ to you too." She chuckles. Ben kisses her bump again and looks up at her from his spot on the bed.  
"You looked so comfortable. I didn't want to wake you up, but he was kicking like crazy.." Ben says softly, presses a deliberate kiss lower, closer to her where a pair of his boxers sit low on her hips. Even at seven months pregnant- and she _looked_ pregnant now- his boxers almost fell off her hips. But she thought she was absolutely bulbous and round, all belly. When she laid down she felt like a turtle struggling desperately to right itself, which Ben frequently laughed his ass off at. The baby seemed to be draining all the weight straight to himself, her arms and legs still thin and normal.  
Rey was silently terrified at the idea of having a gigantic Solo Boy. Especially after Leia one night overly emotional from a few glasses of wine at dinner, sobbed to Rey about her happiness at becoming a grandmother then sharing the story of Ben's birth (to which he nearly slit his wrists with his dinner knife). Going on and on about _What a huge baby, my lord! I don't know how I even survived it.._  
He kisses her belly once more before attacking the edge of the boxers and the skin they rest on with soft pecks. Rey laughs silently, smiling and resting back into her pillow, stretching her neck as Ben kisses her skin. She looks down when he's hooked his thumbs sneakily into the elastic waistband and started to tug at them.  
"What are you doing to me now?", she says it like a whine but it's dripping in sarcasm.  
Rey'd assumed that once she ballooned up the way she had Ben would slowly start to want to see less and less of her naked. Somehow she'd been very wrong.  
_"You're weird.", Rey is giggling through the words but she means them to an extent. She felt like a whale. Absolutely unattractive. But Ben thought her pregnant body held the earth and sun in place for some reason. And he still **wanted** her.  
"You're insane for not seeing how absolutely ravishingly you are." He punctuated his words with a long kiss to the nape of her neck, one arm propping him up on the bed as the other hooked over her hip and he rubbed his hand deliberately over her ass, thighs, up to her belly then back to her still exposed hip bones, gripping for a moment at each spot. She felt goosebumps scatter her body and leaned into the kisses, pushing herself against Ben's front.  
"I just don't see how anyone could see my 29 week pregnant ass as sexy-" Rey is saying the words with an eye roll but Ben cuts her off.  
" **Because** you are stunning, Rey. Even more stunning than you could ever imagine."_  
Ben moved down to her thighs and Rey lets them roll open for him when he pushed at them with his hands. He leans down and just hovers a moment, blowing softly on the skin of her inner thigh, giving her goosebumps. She lets him kiss across the span of her legs, then lets out a contented sigh.  
"You're too good to me."  
Ben chucked at that, continuing to leave slow kisses on her soft skin,  
"Only because you allow me to be." He says, lips barely up from her skin, breath hot on her thighs. Rey opens her legs wider now, almost pleading, but knowing she doesn't have to say _anything_ to Ben to incite him.  
He proves her point when he lifts his head with an almost feral growl at her compliance. Kissing higher and higher. Ben takes the leeway as he can get it, slowly pushing the thin boxers down her legs. Rey reaches down, winds her hand back into Ben's hair as he goes to kiss newly reveled flesh. Her skin peppered with goosebumps in anticipation. She loved lazy mornings with Ben's head between her legs, especially now that she was a hormonal nightmare most of the time.  
Ben kisses higher and higher up her thighs until he met her pussy, slowly leaning down to kiss between her legs. The kiss turned into a suck, as Ben went eagerly to work on Rey's clit. Rey moaned loudly, voice carrying throughout their quarters. Ben pulled away for a moment and smiled against Rey's overheated flesh, before starting in again. Rey lets out a squeal, then Ben's name, dragging it out with his licks. At this point he's lapping at her enthusiastically, tongue tracing shapes against her swollen clit, eliciting near screams from Rey beneath him.  
Ben can't get enough of her noises, and in hopes of getting more out of her he slips a broad fingertip up to play with her slit, feeling the wet skin before diving it inside of her. Rey responds exactly how he wants her to.  
" _Ben, ohh god. Ben_ ", words come tumbling from her lips and Ben licks at her clit again, then around his finger. He pushed back up on his elbows for a moment, before ducking his head again for one last lick before slipping his finger out and back in, pumping a few times testing how wet she'd gotten. He sat back and looked at her before him. Tank top riding up high on her stomach, but otherwise completely bares. She raises up as well and lifts an eyebrow in his direction.  
"Fair's fair" she quips and Ben obliges, pushing his soft flannel sleep pants down, exposing his already strained cock. He leans down once more to lick between Rey's spread legs before pushing her hip lightly to roll her into her side and laying down behind her. Rey cranes her neck to kiss his lips, tasting herself on him, softly moaning through closed lips. Ben palms his erection before slowly beginning to tease at Rey's opening, sliding the head of his cock against her slick skin. Rey groans and pushes against him, trying to gain leverage.  
" _Fuck, Rey._ ", Ben barely has time to take a breath before Rey finds the right angle and pushes herself flush against him, till he's buried inside her. They moan almost in tandem at the connection, suddenly growing desperate. Rey pushes against him harder, trying to get _deeper_. Ben helps, obliging her and pulling himself out quickly before slamming back into her, hands splaying out across her lower back and ass, spreading her.  
Rey loves that even when she feels ridiculously ugly, Ben can still make her feel like a filthy goddess in bed.  
"Please. _Ben_ fuck right there." She's nothing but garbled words at this point, stars behind her eyes and teeth biting her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. Ben keeps going, hitting the exact spot she wants him to deliberately, placing languid, slow kisses over her shoulder and up her neck, pushing her farther with each thrust. Rey is screaming when she comes, convulsing and arching her back, walls spasming around Ben's cock, pushing him over the edge shortly after her, her name on his lips.

Poe and Leia plan a baby shower without Rey knowing, and when she walks into their quarters hoping to find Ben, she ends up finding a room full of people and Ben sitting uncomfortably next to his mother.  
His eyes say that he is _so, so sorry_.  
Rey grins and bears it though, accepting the gifts she's given and talking absently about onesies and crib pads.  
Poe and Finn have gotten them a wide array of little outfits, from teeny tiny captains uniforms to an itty bitty classic orange resistance jumpsuit. Rey fights back tears at the thought put into all the outfits they give her, telling them soft _thank you so much_ 's when she hugs them close.  
Luke gives both Rey and Ben new hilt's for their sabers, the Rebel symbol burned into soft leather, their respective names inscribed on the side.  
Leia's gifts are the most sentimental though. Ben's eyes mist over when he sees what she's put into the small flat package she hands him. He removes the top halfway at first, then the look on his face changes dramatically, with realization. He takes the top all the way off and reveals the soft brown leather jacket inside. Zippers and pockets, just like his fathers, only obviously made in a larger size for Ben, distressed carefully. Ben takes a moment to gain composure before standing to follow his mother as she grabs another small square box and Rey can't help but notice how he goes to her side as if he's been called, taking it from her. As if they planned this.  
Rey wonders through the bond what he's doing, asking him twice before he's standing in front of her, holding out the package to her. Rey takes it carefully, opening the top and peering in. The first layer is white tissue, covering a small picture frame. Inside it is a small photo, obviously old. It's a teeny little Ben, wrapped in what looks like a million blankets as a newborn. He's in the arms of a bewildered looking Han, who's beaming at the camera despite the obvious fear in his eyes. Han looks so _young_. Under that frame is another, a shadowbox. When Rey turns it, real sand inside the small space of the frame moves around. Behind it is another old photo, this one of the Millennium Falcon in its prime, Han standing with an arm wrapped around Leia and his other hand resting on a _maybe_ seven year old Ben's shoulder. They're all standing looking at the camera, standing on a high dune with the Falcon in the background, sweating in the heat. On _Jakku_. Rey's breath catches as she realizes where the photo was taken.  
_She was probably there. Somewhere there on that planet. From the look of Ben she guessed the photo was taken around the time she was abandoned on the desert planet._  
Rey's eyes fill with tears now and she can't keep them back. She just calmly begins to cry. Fingers dancing over the glass in front of the image. She tries to breathe but all she can manage are short shallow breaths. Ben is at her side within seconds, holding her close to his chest as he sits next to her, grabbing the shadow box gently and setting it aside.  
"There's more in the box, Rey.", he prods softly, holding her hand tight and bringing it to his lips. Rey nods and wipes her cheeks absently, looking up and apologizing for her tears.  
There's another layer of tissue, and under it sits a small frame, to match the first one she took out of the box. Only this one was empty, waiting to be filled with a picture of Ben holding their son. While she was staring at the blank space, imagining Ben in his new leather jacket, holding their newborn son in his arms, terrified and overwhelmed by love; she thinks she sees Ben reach into the box and grab something small, palm sized. Rey puts down the tiny frame and looks back into the box but there's noting but tissue. She turns to Leia, giving her a smile that says all the thanks she needs, unable to articulate her love of her presents. But Leia is smirking back at her. Rey gives her a confused look before Leia raises an eyebrow and tilts her head to the side, motioning for Rey to look beside her.  
When she does, Ben is there. Holding one outstretched hand and in it, a tiny silver band with a galactic-like swirl of shining stones. Ben is crying, silent terrified tears gathering in his eyes and falling over his cheeks slowly. He merely gives her a twisted smile, no words need be exhanged.  
Behind her, a literal squeak erupts from Finn's mouth.  
Rey can't do anything but nod her head, so hard her neck could very well snap. The room erupts into ruckus laughter and _congratulations!_ Ben slips the ring delicately onto her finger and kisses it softly, before grasping her into a hug that lifts her feet off the ground briefly before setting her back down and kissing her lips once.  
Rey looks at her finger, ring glistening in the light and then to Ben, chest almost bursting with glee and through the bond she tells him over and over  
_I love you so much._

They're decorating the nursery- painted a soft blue green with tan accents. It's an instant reminder of Jakku without all the bad- arguing over where exactly the shadow box frame will go on the wall and names.  
"I think we should do a family name.", Rey rubs her belly as she says it, like _he agrees_ and she's speaking his opinion as well. Ben shakes his head and finishes with putting a nail into the wall and placing the shadow box in the spot they'd decided on. Rey struggles a little to do it, but sits slowly down in the rocking chair they've put in the corner of the room.  
"He's not going to be Ben Solo Jr. I refuse that." Ben says argumentatively, "and beyond that, he's not going to be named after my grandfather." Ben carefully doesn't say 'And he won't be named after _his_ grandfather.' But Rey can hear it in his mind. A long moment passes before Rey speaks again,  
"Ezra?"  
"No."  
"What about Landon? Or Lando? I like the idea of history being behind his name.."  
"He's never going to lead the Cloud City. Pass"  
"Bane?"  
Ben looks at her from where he's trying to attach a hanging string to one of the decorations in the room, a topographic 3D map of Naboo, and gives her an almost glare at the thought. He shakes his head 'no' again and Rey huffs, rubbing at her bump.  
"Jango"  
"Absolutely not" Ben replies through chuckles. They sit in silence again, Rey trying to think of a name worth throwing out there.  
Ben is focusing on one name. The same name he's had in his head since he knew he had a son growing slowly inside of his _now_ future bride. He doesn't want to say anything to Rey though, be feels like this isn't something he should get to pick, regardless of what Rey says.  
"Okay well I am just about finished with being creative," Rey huffs again and begins to try to stand up. Ben is there in a second, grasping her hand and letting her use him as support to stand despite her huge belly. In her 32nd week and mostly helpless when it came to moving around because of her stomach. Ben presses a kiss to her forehead when she's fully stood up. Rey looks up to his face, craning her neck for a kiss. Ben obliges, then pulls back to just _look at her_. He takes a deep breath before he opens his mouth, having to force the words.  
"I think I like Lukas," he says suddenly shy, "Luke, for a nickname and stuff."  
He can't see Rey's smile, but he can feel it through their bond. She's beaming, her breath hitched at the suggestion. She finally lets out her breath, sighing happily.  
"It's _perfect_."  
Ben can't help but smile back at her, staring at her brightness. Her natural light.  
_You're perfect._

Rey is sitting in their bed reading a book in the sunlight coming through the windows, rubbing her belly. Lukas had been energetic all morning, over actively kicking and moving. She's tried to sleep but every five minutes Lukas decided he wanted to practice backflips. Ben was laying next to her, sleeping peacefully with his mouth hanging open. He'd just come home from a mission with Poe and Finn that had dragged out into two days. He'd walked into their quarters late the night before with exhaustion all over his face and in his demeanor. Rey'd held her arms out for him to come get in bed with her and he's fallen asleep within seconds of hitting the pillows. Rey didn't want to wake him again, Lukas had woken them both up in the early early morning hours, his brain activity something they could feel now. Ben had been unable to fall right back to sleep so Rey had stayed up letting him palm her stomach. He'd told her about the mission, and more so about how Poe and Finn were _still denying everything_ even after they'd been fully caught several times. Tucked into corners or the hallways or working on a ship inside the docking bay, stealing private moments and hurried exchanges of the lips. Rey had fallen asleep thinking about how happy she was for them.  
With Ben laying next to her Rey was calm again. She'd been a bundle of nerves the whole time he'd been off the base, spending most of her time with Leia. But everything felt right with the world now that he was back in their bed. She ran a hand absently though his hair as her other hand turned the page in her book. The fluttering in her stomach began again and she pressed her hand lightly to her bump then back to her book.  
She was reading a long passage aloud softly, to herself when she felt Ben's head stir under her fingers.  
"Good morning sleepy." She spoke softly, tone light. "You can sleep more, I'll pull the curtains and-"  
"Rey?"  
The inquisitive tone in his voice stopped her short. She craned her neck to look at his face, laying on his pillow still but around bump level because of the way Rey sat up in the bed.  
"Huh?"  
"You okay?" He asked with a raised eye brow. Rey's own brows furrowed in confusion.  
"Yeah..? I'm fine, why what's up?" She asked. Ben pushed up onto his elbows.  
"Well, and I'm not judging you, _my wonderful beautiful fiancé, mother of my child_ ," he says dramatically, then his face goes flat and he says, "but I think you either wet the bed, or your water broke."  
Rey went white as a sheet. Words coming to her lips and coming out as nothing more than absolute garbled nonsense. Luckily Ben could think clearly enough for both of them.  
"Okay, breathe, Rey. Breathe. I'll call for mother to meet us in the MedBay, we have your bag packed. You're fine." His words are 100% calm, but his face is betraying him, reading excitement and terror. Rey nods to the sensible side of him, placing a hand on her belly and using the other to push towards the edge of the bed. She takes Ben's outstretched hand when she's at the edge and he helps her to a standing position. She waddles to one of the wardrobes on the wall, pulling out a clean pair of long sleep pants (practically all that fits her belly now), she forgoes a new shirt, the soft worn fabric of the t-shirt she has on riding up her belly but not covered in _her broken water_. Once she's changed, and it takes a good few minutes, she turns to find Ben waiting impatiently at the door with a datapad in one hand and her hospital bag on his shoulder.  
Ready.  
Rey takes a deep breathe and waddles over to him at the door, taking one last long glance at their quarters before she closes the door behind her, thinking about how the next time they're here, they'll be a _family_.

Rey endures four hours of labor (which she is a little horrified to hear is _much faster_ than normal). She thought that being a scavenger her whole life had prepared her mentally and physically for anything pain wise, and that her Jedi training had made her strong enough to handle anything.  
But as soon as she's in the MedBay delivery room she's an absolute wreck. Terrified of the pain. Ben soothes her through the bond, and physically by sitting as near as possible, rubbing softly at her back or her hair as she went through the stages of labor.  
When Lukas is finally born, Rey and Ben both feel the ultimate relief and the most intense bond they could imagine. He's finally here and he's _perfect_. (Tiny-so so insanely tiny, but perfect).  
Leia and Luke are the first ones to come into the room after he's born. Rey is ragged and disheveled but glowing brighter than ever, Ben doesn't look much better, cradling Lukas in his huge arms, terrified and in love.  
Leia has to speak through the tears that are running down her face as soon as Rey and Ben look up from their perfect creation to meet her eyes. Luke just stares at them, pride overwhelming him, seeing both of their journeys flash before his eyes, the things that brought them to this point.  
"What is his name?" Leia asks in awe, staring at Lukas with all the love in the world. Rey nods, looks back to Lukas and then to Ben, prodding him to tell them.  
"Lukas." He tells her finally, finding his words after a choked up moment. Luke is standing near the doorway but he looks so taken aback, honored. He nods, presses his lips into a thin line as happy tears well in his eyes, refusing to fall even when his smile takes over his face. Leia begins to cry harder, hand coming to cover her quivering lips as she nods in approval. Ben raises Lukas, bouncing him just slightly in his arms, looking at Leia, who just stares at her grandson.  
"Mom, would you like to hold him?"  
Leia breathes deep and nods her head, taking the baby carefully.  
Rey watches from her spot on the bed, as the newest member of the Solo family gurgles and moves in his grandmothers arms. Looks to Ben, eyes trained like a hawks upon his heir, the love he has already for their son palpable through the bond. Then to Luke and Leia, his eyes carefully watching his namesake with what Rey believes to be the biggest smile she's ever seen him wear and hers trained on the bundle in her arms, cooing softly. Rey looks at her family standing all together in the room and feels full.  
Of hope. Of joy. Of love.  
She slips her hand into Ben's, giving it a squeeze. He pushes into her mind softly, and she lets him, letting the image flow from his head to hers.  
_They're standing underneath a big familiar tree, the same sun filtering through the leaves above them. The tree from the first vision Ben ever pushed into her mind, the vision that started it all.  
Rey is standing in a long, softly flowing white dress, her worn leather belt around her waist, Luke's present holding her light saber at her hip, tan scraps of fabric criss-crossed across her torso, falling with the fabric of her dress to the ground. Her hair falls softly around her shoulders. The wind blows softly, moving the fabric around her. Ben is standing near the tree's trunk Lukas a toddler on his shoulders, reaching out for a leaf on a bottom branch. Ben turns then, like Rey's called his name and maybe she has. But when he turns, carefully holding on to Lukas atop his shoulders, he's smiling brighter than the sun coming through the leaves. Rey's breath catches in her lungs for a moment and she's frozen. Looking out upon her **family**. The only one she'll ever need. She looks to Ben trying to catch his eyes. But he's showing Lukas how to " **wave to mommy** ". The sun catches on the silver band Ben is wearing on his left hand, out waving toward her with their sons. Rey takes another breath, clear comfortable air filling her lungs, heart bursting with joy and love as she starts to walk toward her family in the sun._


End file.
